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Obviously God said no to that prayer

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God: LOL, Dance, puppets!

Because life is stressful and chocolate makes me happy.

Is your dog named after the character from Final Fantasy? If so, nice! If not, still nice, she's a good girl!

I work in IT support, you have to ask basic asanine questions to cover all bases! That's the equivalent if asking if it's plugged in!

I always say the worst thing that could happen in any given situation is the sun could explode. Then my husband reminded me the sun is exploding all the time.

Back in the days of Facebook, I friended this kid I used to babysit when I was a teenager, he was in college. We had 1 mutual friend. I figured it was someone from the same town. I clicked on it and it was my husband's cousin, who lives halfway across the country! Turns out they went to the same school.

My dad's a welder. Whenever we go he points out bad welds and good welds. I bet he would like this!

30 points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago

there is a bit more to the story: (from wiki) During her birth, the doctor was not immediately available and the nurse ordered Rose Kennedy to keep her legs closed, forcing the baby's head to stay in the birth canal for two hours. The action resulted in a harmful loss of oxygen. As Rosemary began to grow, her parents noticed she was not reaching the basic development steps an infant or a toddler normally reach at a certain month or year. At two years old, she had a hard time sitting up, crawling, learning to walk and later on feeding herself.

As a child in the 70's with epilepsy a lobotomy was a real option for my parents.

I've heard stories about me as a kid sitting calmly than passing out and jerking around in the floor. I've heard a lot of story's of epileptic kids being hidden, abandoned or like Rose locked up.

I'm happy my father figure out an alternative for me (without Google)

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My mom told me this story a long time ago, I think she said it was because she developmental problems. This makes sense.

I came here to bite assholes and chew Beggin Strips, and I'm ALLLLL out of Beggin Strips!

jumamillion commented on
r/hmmmPosted by

Damn, Alice has an attitude!

752 points · 2 days ago

Amazon asks you to answer questions about products you've purchased as though the asker is addressing you personally.

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That explains a lot. I'll see something like "Can I use this product while I X? Response: I don't use these while I X.

I just need 1. White Mage from Final Fantasy to continually cast life and cure. Boom. Done. I'll take 10 white mages to make it easier.

Spam ads, pop ups, audio imbedded in web pages. Wanna get stop it? Buy my ad blocker.

Trying to do this to your own hair is like trying to disassemble a bomb in the dark!

Why not tell them that? Some people are really dense so they might just think you're "playing hard to get" or something.

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Why should I stop my exercise to explain to you I don't want to flirt right now. Like, hold up. Let me slow down the treadmill. Pause my music. Take out my ear buds. And talk to a man about why I don't want to flirt with him right now. I'm not going to do that. If I'm busy, I'm busy, leave me alone.

-2 points · 3 days ago

This argument is unintelligible to me. Is there supposed to be a collective knowledge of when and where it's okay to talk to a woman? If you don't say something, how can I know if it's "unwanted" or not? What happens after it's said, that's another argument.

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If she's busy, like while exercising, it's not a good time.

I was having a crappy day at work a few weeks ago so I ate a trash lunch to make me feel better. Cup of Noodles with broken up potato chips and scorpion sauce. Didn't solve my problems. Didn't make me feel better. Would not recommend. 1 star.

956 points · 3 days ago

I got a $25 Casio keyboard at 10 years. No gifts ever again after that.

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Damn, I got a coffee maker after 5. It makes k-cups and loose ground coffee!

“she’s only 6 and she deserves it.”

She's 6, what could she possibly have done to deserve anything? And why should a total stranger give any fucks at all?

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I live in an area with a lot of retirement communities. There was a story a while back of a senior couple who had their car shipped from FL to NJ on a flat bed, but they had an EZ-Pass in the car and long story short were double charged for all the tolls.

In an interview the woman said "We deserve a refund because we're seniors!" My friend lost her shit. "You don't deserve a refund because you're seniors! You deserve a refund because you were double charged!!"

True story, my dog did have a tumor that size we had removed!! But it was encased under his skin/fur. He was A OK after that!

My husband always says cardinals are the spirits of our departed relatives checking in on us.

19 points · 4 days ago

"why...?" "because i just sat here getting IV meds and i deserve a doll, dammit!"

-looks up 'reborn doll'- OMG

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I think there's a subreddit for that.


I wish I could unsee that! Yikes!

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Im sorry!

Cake day
January 24, 2017
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