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You’re telling me Serena Williams is married to Marky Mark Zuckerberg? This feels like bad fanfiction right now.

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67 points · 6 hours ago

Mark Zuckerberg did not cofound Reddit

Even if he did she's not married to him

Lol I brought that up because people love to say, "oh damn I didn't know Mexicans got that tall" like I'm some sort of legendary Pokemon

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9 points · 6 hours ago

I'm 6 ft and black and people say "I didn't know black people got that short" like nigga you ever see Kevin Hart?

Are you ok?

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8 points · 1 day ago

No he's triggered

17.2k points · 2 days ago
x5x3

I didn't get to pick mine, I was born with it.

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1 point · 1 day ago

!redditsilver

13 points · 2 days ago

"It seems to be a regular class filled with ugly ass kids" Holy shit my sides

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6 points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago

kid just starts screaming and runs for the door, forgets to open it and smashes into it headfirst

why they let tards into woodshop i will never know

1 point · 2 days ago

good bot

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good bot

Thank you, lordg52, for voting on Wincin.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.


Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

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bad bot

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373 points · 3 days ago

MRS.OBAMA GET DOWN

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-22 points · 2 days ago

"Nice"

The Wheel of Fate smiles on you

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-30 points · 2 days ago

Nice

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Original Poster1 point · 3 days ago

Not race, I’m transgender.

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i thought if you were trans you couldnt reproduce??

also what the hell finland

Original Poster1 point · 3 days ago

It depends, the argument for madnatory sterilisation is that the minority who could retain their ability is so small that it doesn’t matter.

Imagine if your fertility was a miracle and the law demands it taken away.

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why do they sterilize trans people in the first place?

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7 points · 3 days ago

damn...when I was 5 years old I ate sands

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6 points · 3 days ago

when i was 14 years old i threw a rock in my mouth to see if i could catch it and i chipped my tooth

61 points · 3 days ago

everyone here is saying monsters but remember, the cult needs the blood of a virgin to complete their ritual

lucky for them i'm a virgin, i choose monsters

75 points · 4 days ago

baby come out nostrils?

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22 points · 3 days ago

my gf get pregananant in nose hole from nose fuckjng?

2 points · 4 days ago

Ok I did not see that coming I thought it was above water in some good lighting and they were about to take off their mask

I think I'd have no cake ever. As I would be a super fat shit after a month of cake which could ages to revert.

if we could have meat cakes- non savory then I would do that month, but as you noted above its just sweet cakes...

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I agree plus I think cake is nasty except red velvet

Original Poster3 points · 4 days ago

That definitely classify as cake.

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6 points · 4 days ago

This is great because its not like I was gonna pound anyone anyways

Pretty small chance, even if they can somehow gmo that shit it'll probably be super weak, like the equivalent of nonalcoholic beer

Even crazier idea, use a novel someone else wrote as your password, and then commit a crime and have evidence on your phone. When the cops try to get you to give up your password, plead the fifth for self-incrimination in the case of copyright infringement, not on the original crime you committed.

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228 points · 4 days ago

Then just commit a crime worse than copyright infringement lpt

Research says, even when you play mindgames, the best thing to play is the last thing they just played.

Source:Hannah Fry, the lady who will regrettably never be my wife.

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11 points · 4 days ago

Never give up you can always try to win her over

17 points · 5 days ago

COMMENT SOMEHOW INVOKING RULE 6

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Original Poster3 points · 5 days ago

JOKE ABOUT RULE 6 THAT COMES OFF AS VAGUELY THREATENING

GIVING A POPULAR OPINION WHILE CLAIMING IT'S AN UNPOPULAR OPINION

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Original Poster2 points · 5 days ago

STATEMENT OF AGREEMENT EVEN THOUGH I ACTUALLY DISAGREE THAT IS AN ATTEMPT TO GET KARMA BECAUSE THE ONLY OTHER SUBCOMMENT TO THIS IS DOWNVOTED

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Moderator of r/Showerthoughts, speaking officially1 point · 5 days ago

You appear to have submitted a common or unoriginal thought. As such, it has been automatically removed.

Please remember that all submissions to /r/Showerthoughts must be original and unique.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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Original Poster1 point · 5 days ago

This is garbage y'all keep removing my thoughts

Ugggggh. That's the kind of mawkish nonsense my cousin posts on facebook.

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13 points · 5 days ago

It actually makes perfect sense, spend time with your kids = you guys will have fun

It's like drinking with your friends without doing anything in particular, you will eventually start to tell jokes or whatever

Edit: it seems I'm about to get downvoted to the 9th circle jerk of hell because everyone else seems to disagree with the ops link, I think it makes sense but oh well

Even with the light freezing issue, you could take up braille or pottery or something.

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14 points · 5 days ago

Plus if you're already not aging and you can interact with everything you can assume the light freezing issue is null

0 points · 5 days ago

Why not make everyone serve in the military so nobody wants to start a war

u/lordg52
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