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12.4k

College. A bunch of guys rent a beat up old house in town next to a daycare. Problem is the parents picking up and dropping off park in our driveway. We argue with the owner of the daycare every day. She doesn't care. So one day I begin parking behind the parents who are parked in my driveway. This infuriates the daycare owner. We go back and forth and usually I go out and move my car so the parents can get their car out. One day, though, I've just had it. I worked most of the night, had early morning classes, and I have twenty minutes to shave shower and get ready for my second job this afternoon. I get home and sure enough parents are in our driveway...again. So I park behind them and go inside. Get in the shower and when I get out the daycare owner is beating on the door loud enough to shake the wall. I go downstairs wrapped in a towel and open the door, she burst into the middle of the living room and screams at me. While she is screaming I take the towel off and calmly dry my hair. I am buck fucking naked. She stops screaming long enough to realize she's standing next to a naked college student, screams something about calling the cops and bolts for the door. It doesn't open. In her haste to leave she's locked the door instead of unlocking it. Now she's stuck with a naked man. I tell her I have to have the key (true) to unlock the door and the key is upstairs on my dresser. I leave her looking like she's about to have a heart attack. I take the longest time to go upstairs and get dressed and get the key. When I come back to the living room she's white as a ghost. I unlock the door and say, "It sucks to be stuck and not able to leave, right?" Fast forward about 20 minutes and when I'm leaving a cop is parked in front of the house. I chat with them through the car window. I explain the situation and they chuckle. "Did you invite her in?" No, I tell them, she barged into my house. "Well it's not a crime to be naked in your own house. Her problem for violating your privacy." I'd love to say this rectified the situation, but it didn't. We never found a way to stop parents from parking in our driveway. But it was fun for a few minutes to freak a stuck-up mean-ass middle-aged woman.

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Little backstory, I live on an island and there is only one laundromat and I am there the same day every week. Our Island is 60% tourists, and most of those tourists are 55+. At this particular laundromat, there is a single air conditioned room so that is where I sit and watch Netflix until my laundry is done. I get mistaken for a worker there all the time, yet I know for a fact that there are no workers there, just one old drunk owner (who is never present) and about 20 washers and dryers.

But today was a different story let me tell ya. I am normally a very nice person, but I have the curse of a short temper. So there I am sitting in the little room with headphones in when rich old white lady (we'll call her OL) comes in.

OL: *slams her laundry onto the table and stares at me* "Shouldn't you be up front or something?"

Me: \removes headphones** "Excuse me?"

OL: "It took me forever to find you, you're like hiding back here!"

Me: "What do you mean?"

OL: "Oh my god, whatever." *angrily takes out her wallet\* "How much?"

I thought she was just generally talking about the price of the machines.

Me: "2.50 for wash and .25 per 5 minutes on the dryer."

OL: "And dry cleaning, folding and steam?"

Me: "They don't have that here."

OL: "WHAT?! Fine fine, here, I'll be back in an hour."

Me: "What?"

OL: "Are you deaf or stupid? Please just fold it when you're done."

I was beginning to understand the fact that she thought I worked here.

Me: "I'm not doing your laundry."

OL: "WHY THE F*** NOT?! You're the only place on this dump island!!"

Me: "I. Don't. Work. Here."

OL: "Well you look like you do! Fit right in with this slum, all you locals do!"

Me: "Just get the f*** out of here." *Starts to put my headphones on\*

OL: "Ill pay you, just do them and I'll come back."

Me: "Even if I DID work here I wouldn't be doing your laundry."

OL: WHy not?"

Me: "Because you're a rude b****!"

OL: \packing up her laundry and turning very red in the face** "I will call the manager!"

Me: "I call him for you!!! Guess what, hes a local too. He owns this 'slum' as you called it."

Her face went from red to white. She packed up the rest of her clothes and jiggled her way out the door. And here I thought I looked decent today.

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Mobile, LTL FTP, etc.

Found this sub and love all the stories in it. I’ve only ever had one “I don’t work here” moment worth mentioning, it’s short and sweet but I think some of you might enjoy the immediate payoff.

Was walking through a certain depot for homes store, can’t remember what I needed but it was on a further back aisle. I looked nothing like an employee, their uniform being an orange apron with the store name on it. As I walked through a lumber aisle to get to the back, a man talking loudly on his cellphone looks at me and raises his hand towards me.

Man: snap snap, points at a piece of wood

Me: snap snap, middle finger

He just stared at me wide eyed and open mouthed as I walked right passed him.

Edit: some formatting

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I am a Forensic Supervisor. Our uniforms are a black polo, black tactical pants, radio, duty belt, the whole nine yards. We get mistaken for police officers a lot. So much so, I am also wearing a ballistic vest (which is also black).

I was in a Lowe's Home Improvement store waiting on the customer service rep to return with an order I had placed for our unit. (We had a new vehicle we needed to outfit with tools, measuring tapes, a laser measuring device, etc.) So I'm in Lowe's, standing on the customer side of the customer service desk, wearing head to toe black with the word "FORENSICS" in big bold yellow letters in at least three places on my body (nothing close to what they wear in Lowe's) when I hear "Ahem excuse me". I turn around to see a man walking toward me. I'm assuming he's going to ask me if I'm an officer (because that happens fairly often) but instead he says "Do you know where the hammers are?"

Me: I'm sorry Sir, I don't.

Man: Why not?

Me: I don't work here Sir but I would assume they are with the hand tools.

Man: And where are those?

Me: I'm sorry Sir, I don't know the answer to that. I don't work here, but if you want to wait the customer service rep will be right back and she should be able to assist you.

Man: You don't work here?

Me. No Sir.

Man: But you're in a uniform.

Me. Yes Sir. I work for the Forensic Unit. This is our uniform.

Man: Then why don't you know where the hammers are?!

The worst thing about being in uniform is that I MUST remain polite and professional. So I stated again that I didn't work for Lowe's and that the customer service rep that had just returned could help him. He stormed off instead, muttering about my ignorance.

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Last summer my dad and I had to drive up to Chicago to help my Aunt move some boxes from
my grandparents basement in order to sell what was inside them (My grandparents were too old to do it themselves). It's about a 3 hour drive from where I live so we stopped at a gas station in order to buy snacks. The gas station uniforms had a grey button down shirt and my dad was wearing a grey t-shirt at the time. As we were shopping a old man walked up and began to complain to my dad.

Customer: "How fucking dare you hire a Muslim (He used a derogatory term for Muslim)here. How dare you!

My dad: "I'm sorry, what?!"

Customer: "You'd better fire that man or else there will be hell to pay. I can't feel safe know that a Muslim works here."

At this point my dad realized that the customer has mistaken him for a manager.

My dad: "First of all I don't work here! Second, why would it matter that he is Muslim!"

Customer: "Don't talk to me that way! This is your store, fix it."

He stormed out of the store leaving me and my dad very surprised at what happened. As we were paying for our food my dad told the cashier what happened and he said: "I'm glad you got him to leave before I had to deal with him."

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A couple of weeks ago I was driving back from a job interview, decided to stop by the supermarket to pick up a few things. I had my grey suit on but taken off my tie. I was in the store picking up a few items, I was on the phone to a friend and this nutcase starts talking to me very abruptly

Nutcase: Yes!, you!, where have YOUR staff moved the Tea?

Me: I don't work here

I continue talking on my phone

Nutcase: EXCUSE ME! YES YOU DO WORK HERE. I saw you last week ordering the staff around!

I tell my friend I have to go

Me: Look, I told you I don't work here, leave me alone

A few people in the meat isle were starting to look. Nutcase had the crazy eyes now

Nutcase: I am going to report you to head office, you don't even have a tie on. Very unprofessional, I WILL get you sacked!,

Me: Oh just **** off

I go to the self service tills, was just putting the items into the bag and I see the nutcase dragging some poor member of staff and rabidly pointing at me. She is ranting "this member of staff was rude and swore at me! I want him sacked!. The poor guy was trying to tell her he does not work here but she is not having any of it. I just laugh at as I walk out

managers in that store have dark blue suits on or just shirt/trousers, tie . Also I have never been in that supermarket in my life. Feel sorry for the member of staff, she was barking mad. I won't put it past her to abuse any one on their lunch break in a suit!

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Didn't know where to put this. Not really an "I don't work here, lady" as opposed to an "I don't work for them, lady".

Recently I moved into a new neighborhood. We had the moving company come with a pretty big truck to move our big items and we followed behind with our car with some more personal and delicate items. We parked behind the truck and start to unload. Mind you, we're moving and so I'm in casual clothes - jeans, baseball cap, and a black shirt, not similar to the matching tie-dye company t-shirts the movers are wearing.

I'm moving a box into the house when I spot my new neighbor (NN) looking from her driveway. I do the acknowledge-you-with-a-head-nod move since my hands were in use. I've met this neighbor twice before this when seeing the house. I assumed she recognized me. On my way back to the car, this neighbor comes across the lawn and stops me.

NN: So this is move in day I see!
me: Yeah! We're pretty excited! Things are moving really fast, we're just trying to keep up. How are you?
NN: Fine, fine! Question for ya - do you have some extra guys that could help me bring some boxes out of my attic? They're too big and I'm scared of climbing that ladder myself.
me: I could ask them if they could do that. Not sure what policy and stuff is, but couldn't hurt to ask!
NN: How could you not know? *chuckles a little*
me: I mean, I just don't know if they can do something they weren't asked for ahead of time or for a different house. That's all. But even if they can't, my husband and I could come over in a bit. It's not a problem. We'll figure it out.
NN: Oh it's a family business! That's really nice.
me: Huh? *overall confusion*
NN: Is it you and your husband's company?
me: *starting to think she didn't recognize me* No. NN, it's me, sillyturtlegoose. I'm moving in today.
NN: Ohhh. I'm sorry! You were dressed just like the movers, it confused me.
me: *looking at my shirt* But I'm not wearing tie-dye though...
NN: Well, you guys look very similar.
me: Like, how?
NN: Have a great day! I'll see you around!

She doesn't make eye contact anymore. It's been almost two years.

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A few weeks ago on a Sunday I figured I would grab a few things to make a nice dinner since I had family coming over. Anyway I was wearing black jeans and a black polo, big mistake these days apparently. Grocery seemed pretty short staffed and check out lines were pretty big. I pick up what I need to get and am standing in line with with the basket had nothing special to do didn't really care. From behind me I hear some unreasonably angry guy complaining "Hey!, shouldn't you be doing something to help instead of standing around staring while we wait in line!" Now I am pretty oblivious right now screwing around on my phone and think to myself " What a douche, poor employee".

Fast forward a few minutes I see what I presumed to be a manager of the grocery store and this middle aged totally irate looking man walk up to next to me. The manager is young women who looks a little bit nervous. At this point I am just looking at them quizzically a little confused. Conversation basically goes like this.

Manager: Are you talking about this guy? Angry guy: Yea, why the hell is he just standing here with stuff, there has to be something else he can do.

I realise this is the same guy as before and am pretty annoyed at this point.

Me: Uhh, what your problem dude? Angry guy: WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS IDIOT EVEN WORKING HERE AND WHY DOES HE THINK HE CAN TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. Manager: Sir, I don't really know who this is and I really don't think he works here can you please calm down. Me: Dude can you seriously @#$# off I don't even work here and I don't know why you would talk to someone like that anyway. Angry guy: WELL, uhh your dressed in all black how the #$@! was I supposed to know you didn't work here?

Anyway I told him off a bit because I was grumpy and what I assume was the man's wife starts pulling him away and the manager apologises to me and of course I just tell her totally not your fault. But I mean SEEERIOOOUSLY. Who the hell see's someone waiting in line with products from the grocery store and assumes because they are wearing a black polo that they work there? How did this guy not think things through and logic out that clearly I am waiting to purchase food. Are some people so angry at the world they need to fly into a rage at an employee or someone nearby every time something as small as waiting in line for 10 minutes happens to them?

Anyway when I realised this subreddit existed I felt like telling this story just because seriously what is wrong with people I feel so bad for retail workers sometimes.

TL;DR- Dude assumes because I am wearing a black polo that I am a grocery store employee waiting in line with a basket of food.

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I have a story from the long lost time of 2005. Having just discovered this sub I'm so happy I can share it. I'm on mobile and suck at spelling, sorry about that.

I worked at the Club that Sam built in the electronics section. It was quite the job that involved angry people returning the early generations of HDTVs because they were not willing to upgrade to an HD cable package.

My manager came up with the brilliant idea of adding 5 dollars to video games. With my employee discount, it was still cheaper to go across the street to a City of Circuits to get a new game. I lacked a car and didn't live far from work, so I would tuck my blue best into my back pocket and headed to pick up a game.

I'm browsing the new releases when I spot a confused lady. She spots me. She older and surprisingly is not the problem here. She politely says ”my grandson wants a game but I don't remember the name. He talks about guns and a sword.”

I grab Devil May Cry 3 off the shelf and hand it to her.

She says thank you and goes off to pay for it. I go back to looking for a new game. Enter Angry Lady (AL) I'll play Me (M)

AL ”what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Not realizing she is talking to me I keep browsing.

AL ”hey! Dipshit!”

my arm is grabbed and yanked hard

M ”what the fuck?”

AL ”I asked for help first and you ignore me to help her?”

M ”I don't work here.”

AL ”you’re right! I'm getting you fired!”

M ”okay?”

she starts the entitled snap towards a manager while still holding my arm. A confused looking manager arrives she will be CM

CM ”can I help you?”

AL ”This employee ignored me and helped another customer. I requested help first!”

CM ”He doesn't work here.”

AL looks at me with a smirk ”see how easy that was?”

Me very confused ”you did nothing. I. DON’T. WORK. HERE. YOU.MORON. LET GO OF MY FUCKING ARM.”

CM ”yeah, he's a customer you are harassing.”

The light of creation dawns in AL eyes. She realizes she has fucked up. He hands slowly let's go.

AL ”but he was very rude to me! And look!” *points at my blue vest hanging out of my pocket. They wear red vests.

CM ”mam please come with me.”

*they leave and I return to the games. CM returns a few minutes later with a 20 dollar gift card. I'm told the lady was removed from the store and am given many apologies.

To this day I can't figure out what happened to get her to that point of anger in an electronics store. They are such happy places.

Edit: fixed something that oops

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When I was like 12, too young to have a real job in the US, I was shopping with my mom, and we were checking out. This black lady (I promise it's important that she's black) standing by the coke cooler at the other end of the register looks at me:

Lady: Is 5 open? (the register next to us)

I assume she isn't talking to me, the 12 year old

Lady: You! Is 5 open?

I point confusedly at myself

Lady: Yeah you

I don't answer, because 12 year olds shouldn't talk to strangers in the grocery store, and I have no possible way of knowing the answer to her question.

Lady calls me racist for not answering her question, assuming I'm afraid of talking to black people

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A nice short one for you all. I used to work for a small retail group in the UK. We had use of a lottery terminal and there is a very local slang asking for tickets.

So one day I was attempting to pay for fuel a few towns away from where I worked. In front was a local lady (LL) asking the untrained staff member (SM) for a lottery ticket.

LL: "Can I have a hotpic 2,3,4"

SM: "Sorry, lotto hotpics?"

LL: "Yes 2,3 and 4"

SM: "4 tickets?"

LL: "No just one ticket"

SM: "I'm sorry the I dont know what you mean"

At this point, I've already been waiting and there's a big cue so I step in and try explain but he still didn't understand and was getting flustered. I ask him if he would like me to come behind the till and show him, I know his boss anyways so he just let me go ahead and show him

ME: "So simply click hotpics, click for 3 lines, now the customer wants one line with 2 numbers, the next with 3 and 4 on the last line."

At this point it clicks with him and he thanks me, I resist every urge to take the customers money and I apologise to the next person in line, and ask if he would let me go back in the queue(British rules no pushing without permission)

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This has happened 5+ times now. I'll be standing outside my favorite bar (yeah it's at a frichilbees restaurant), smoking a cigarette by the to go door. It's the designated area, whatever. Thing is, I don't wear anything close to the uniform and there are usually 5-8 people, obviously beer drinking customers, outside smoking at a time. Customers pull up, and single ME out. Jeans, Star Wars shirts, you know? I've been yelled at for slacking and not bringing out to go orders by customers so many times I'm starting to wonder if I DO work there.

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No joke, I was killing time for the last 15 mins of my workday skimming this sub, when my mobile phone rings. I don't recognize the number but pick up anyway. As I'm saying hello, a younger sounding female voice barks at me for a good 15 seconds about the e-mail she sent and if I'm going to respond to it or what, yadda yadda. I simply responded "I have no idea who you are or what you're talking about." After a 1-second pause she says "ah shit someone gave me the wrong number I'm sorry I'm sorry". I replied "No problem" and we hung up lol.

Nothing more than that, just wanted to share the irony :)

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I live in condo style apartments where maintenance does salt/plow the parking lot, but they do not scoop/salt sidewalks.

They leave buckets with salt all around the complex from fall to spring and it’s up to the residents to manage the walkways.

Two of my neighbors are older folks with mobility issues so for the last several years I’ve swept and salted their walkways while I’m doing mine. Most people see me doing it and get the hint that it’s on them to clear their path.

That is until Special Lady (SL) saw me today. SL and I don’t know each other, other then generic hellos while in passing. She’s lived here for about 2 years and should understand the way snow maintenance works here. Note: SL is one of those Starbucks and yoga ladies, she is not disabled like my elderly neighbors, so her walkway is her problem in my mind.

I had just finished scooping the walkways and was putting the lid back on the salt when I heard an ahem behind me. I looked at her and said my usual friendly hello.

SL: you missed a few apartments

Me: huh?

SL: My sidewalk. You didn’t clean it off. You can’t just pick and choose which ones get cleared. I pay rent here!

Me: uh, I live there (points to my door). I was just clearing mine and the older folks since they can’t.

SL: so you’re not doing mine then?

Me: it’s up to the residents to clear their sidewalks ma’am.

SL: Clear my sidewalk or I’ll have your job! You also did an awful job on the parking lot. I almost slipped getting out of my car. Your boss wouldn’t appreciate a lawsuit, would he?

Me, cold and damp and not in the mood: Look lady, it’s not my job to clear anything but my own sidewalk. If you slip, that’s on you. Clear it yourself.

SL: I’m calling maintenance and you’re going to be out of a job.

And that’s where I turned and walked back into my home. It’s been an hour, it’s still snowing and hers is the only sidewalk still uncleared. Can’t wait for her to finally relent and do the damn thing herself.

Edit: TIL ‘scooping’ a sidewalk is not a common phrase. Have said it all my life and have never been corrected until opening reddit this morning. I’m going to keep saying it ;)

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So, a bit of context: i had a part time job in a very large hypermarket or supermarket, for you my american friends ( I am from Europe so many things are different there ). I managed to snag that job by, well.... one of my older friends from another city mentioned me to her boss who needed a new employee at a mini-stand in that store so I volunteered as tribute ( three fingers up in the air!).

It payed well and I didn't had to wear anything special so i accepted knowing i could go there at any hour of the day and work as much as 3 hours (though my boss was insane and demanded things which, as i later saw with my own eyes, she didn't do herself. But that is besides the point).

I was taking care of different types of flowers by watering them and changing prices etc. I could do all that but i wasn't an employee of the bigger store. That didn't detter people from being asses though.

So! My moment of glory was ... well... many times to be honest. I used to find food between my flowers, one time i found two of my mini-bonsai turned upside down and stuffed in the back and in their place i found candy that had been half eaten. And who had to clean it up? Me! Who was yelled at my both my boss and the manager of the big market? Also me!

One day, as i was finishing arranging and watering my plants and changing prices on some of my dying plants ( it seems that a plant loosing its flowers is considered to be my fault and not the customer's who just... rip it out of its place in the soil), a very sweet old man comes up to me to ask me about some cheese discount. Being nice and because he had been also nice to me, i politely told him i don't know and pointed to a blue-vest wearing "co-worker" that was up ahead. He was so nice to me even if i couldn't really help him and even bought an orchid from me (complementing me also) that it just made my day.

But that happiness was short lasted cuz a very entitled lady (lets call her EL for short ) and her very spoiled brat came next, ruining all my good-mood.

EL: You there! Come here and help me with something. - she all but yelled at me as her kid was picking up my mini plants on display and playing with them.

She then pointed to the other part of the store and expected me to come with her.

Me: Sorry mam but i don't work for the store and i can't come with you.

EL: I need you to get some -clothing and toy item-from the back!

Me: Mam i am not allowed there...

EL: Yes you are! You have a badge around your neck don't you?

Me: Yes, but i only deal with plants and that is all. But i am sure you can find someone there to help you. - i urged her away seeing that her kid was all but trashing my newly arrived plants and kicking the ones i had put on the floor (they were huge!)

EL: Listen here, you lazy ass! There is no-one there to help me and you look like you're not doing anything so do your damn job!

Me: -loosing my pacience- Mam! I can't and my shift has ended so please try again to find someone.

So i turned my attention to her kid and started to move the plants either away from him or just blocking them with my body.

She was pissed! Red in the face, she grabbed her son and huffed away mumbling to herself.

I know it's anti-climatic but in my country the angry ladies out there don't demand to take your job away if you don't help them. I almost told her to take a plant which her son had all but dropped on the floor but decided not to. I was going to get chewed out later by my boss anyway so what was the point?

My post is long, but i thought it goes here.

Edit: i wrote it on my phone so if there are some miss-spellings and some editing to be done, please forgive me.

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I was at the blue hardware store, I don't remember what I was looking for. Probably paintable caulk. I was in the paint/finish aisle. I was wearing my honeydo clothes, because, well, it was a Saturday in the summer. Dirty denim pants and a ratty t-shirt that probably had my Army unit insignia on it. Definitely not store-appropriate. And of course there was a honeydo list.

This woman approached me and asked me if I could help her.

"I don't work here."

"I know," she replied. "But you look like you know your way around some tools. I am wanting to refinish [some piece of furniture], and I don't know what to use on it."

She was about my age, pleasant, and pretty easy on the eyes, so what the Heck, I'll talk to her. We spent about 15 minutes talking about different stains, waxes, glossy and satin finishes, what's easy to clean, what will protect wood from moisture, etc. I mean, I do know a little about that stuff, and I mean a little, no more. But for that 15 minutes, not one single blue store employee could be found in the paint department. Both of us left with a little more faith in humanity, if not in customer service. And she got her Danish oil finish, and I got my latex caulk.

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Nothing major in this post, I just thought it was funny

As someone whose been a vendor for chip and soda companies I've had many customers mistake me for a store employee. You may all know a store in the United States that is big, blue and known for trashyness. This store has such a high turnover rate that the employees don't even know that I don't work there.

"Hey dude, do you know the SKU for the Great Value distilled water?"

Me: "Uh, no bro, that's your product. I don't work here"

"Hi, do you know where to find the coffee? A customer is looking for it"?

Me: "No... I just work for XYZ company"

*Employee scanning items checking what's in stock"

"Hey do you mind getting some XYZ flavor Oreos from the cart over there, it needs to be filled"

Me: "No, I don't work here"

Each time they were super apologetic and I could tell that they were new employees who'd never worked retail before. At least it was a learning experience for them

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So excited to have something to share on here, even if it's my hubby and not me it happened to. On mobile, apologies for any formatting errors.

My husband was shopping at our local supermarket, Countdown, straight after work.

He works for New Zealand border control and has a uniform very similar to our police, light blue shirt, dark blue pants and tie. Very different from Countdown uniforms which are black. He quite often gets mistaken for a cop but this is the first time he was mistaken for a supermarket staff member.

While doing his own shopping, with a trolley in a completely different dept, a rude woman approached him. Let's call her RW and my husband H.

RW - Where are the whatever fruit?

H - I don't know.

RW - Well I need them so where are they?

H - I don't know, I don't work here.

RW - So why don't you know?

H - (very ticked off) Because I don't work here.

RW - Well you should. She huffs and then storms off towards the fruit & vegetables.

The thing is you enter the store in the fruit and vegetables section. You have to go through that before you can get to anything else in the store, but yet she doesn't bother looking herself and harasses the first uniform she sees.

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I used to worked for a towing company and i remember this one lady came in a sunday afternoon.

She looked (rightfully) pissed.

Lady: I want to talk to a boss immediately!!

Me: Im sorry its sumday and they are not available. They will be tomorrow.

Lady: Well one of your DUMBASS manage to scratch and crack the front and rear bumper of my car this morning.

Me: okay..

Get her info and proceed to check the recept, call order etc. And i have nothing about her or her car.

Me: sorry but i cant find anything about that do you remember who to you ?

Lady: company X (we were company Y)

Me: ho well you are at the wrong place.

Lady: y'all the same bosses anyway !

Imagine trying to explain to a full grown adult how they cannot file a complaint for a bad tow truck driver to another towing company.

Yeah !.

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Happened this past Saturday. I’m still in amazement at the cluelessness, but nevertheless here’s the story!

Background Info: My parents have lived in the same house since before I was born (30+ years now). One of their next-door neighbors moved in ~25 years ago. The neighbor’s kids were a few years older than me, but we used to play basketball/video games together around the time we were in elementary school. As we got older, we’d play less and less until eventually we stopped altogether around the time we were in middle school. So, I had been interacting regularly with this whole family for ~5 years as a kid and I didn’t “move out” of my parents' house until I went off to college about a decade later. Between the time their kids and I stopped playing and this past Saturday, our families have never verbally interacted. At most, it’s a friendly wave from a distance, but even that is rare.

I don’t work here: I primarily work as a scientist, with a side-gig as a self-defense instructor. In my limited free time I like tinkering with cars. Most of the work I do is on my own car. However, my parents will occasionally ask me to do some basic maintenance work on their vehicles if I’m available, because it’s cheaper than taking the cars to a shop. I’m always happy to help when I can assuming they don’t mind me usurping their driveway/garage for a bit while I do the work. This past weekend, I was asked to do a coolant flush on two of their vehicles.

I get to the house early (~8am) and start work on the first car. Not a complicated job, but there’s a bit of “hurry up and wait” involved since I only have basic hand tools at my disposal. While I was working on the first car, my parents’ neighbor comes out of his house to go run errands. We exchanged a friendly acknowledgement wave as he went to his car, but no words (nothing unusual).

By the time the neighbor gets back (after lunch), I’m in the middle of working on the second car. My mother is outside with me having a chat about random family stuff. As my neighbor pulls back into his driveway, he waves to my mother. She returns the pleasantry, but then notices that the neighbor is starting to come over which is SUPER WEIRD. Like this hasn’t happened in 2+ decades kinda weird.

He starts making small-talk with my mom. Asking her how she’s doing, how are things, etc. He’ll be CN for Clueless Neighbor:

CN (to mom): Hey, how are you? Having some work done on your car I see.

Mom: Yeah, he’s just helping us with some maintenance stuff before winter.

CN (to me): Oh, that’s great!....Do you have a card or anything?

Me: …I’m sorry, a card? For what?

Then it starts to dawn on me CN thinks I’m an actual mechanic, making a house call (I don’t even know if that’s a thing that happens) at my own house.

Mom: What? Oh! No, this is u/Fighting_Physicist!...(CN has a confused look on his face) My son…u/Fighting_Physicist? He used to live here.

CN (to me): …Oh!...Oh, of course, of course…I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you…Do you think you could look at the brakes on my car sometime?

Me (still a bit dumbfounded): I mean, I could. I’m not a mechanic and I don’t know much about that particular type of car. I can give you the name of a reputable local shop though.

CN: Yeah, they need to get done soon and since you make house calls I can have them done cheaper than a shop.

Me (playing along because CLEARLY, he missed the part about me not being a mechanic): Ok, well my schedule is pretty busy for the next couple of months, so if you need brakes soon a shop will be your best bet.

CN: Oh, it’s no rush, whenever you have time...

Me (In my best “yeah, I’ll get right on that” voice): Ok, sure thing…

Aside from the fact that CN probably still didn’t actually realize who I was (based on his body language/mannerisms), who in their right mind thinks a house call from a mechanic is going to be cheaper than taking your car to them?!

I am a bit curious to see if he follows-up with my folks for “my card” when he decides his brakes really need to get done.

Tl;dr: Adult neighbor since childhood didn’t recognize me in my own driveway while working on my parents’ cars. Thinks I’m a “house call” mechanic and asks me to do work on his car cheaper than a shop.

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41

First post here, on mobile, TLDR at bottom.

I never expected to experience this because I look extremely young, like young enough for it be illegal to work, despite being an adult. Additionally, I am a bit awkward and don’t always look like “I belong” or am comfortable in my environment. I was shopping at a PacSun at a mall with my boyfriend and his sister, and I had dressed up and done my makeup for the first time in a while (I work in a factory environment as 3rd shift manager, so I don’t have motivation to do this normally).

Anyways, my bf sat at the bro bench holding my dressing room door open while I went out to exchange the shirt I had tried on for a different one from the clearance rack. I assume that I put a shirt back on the rack after rushing out from the dressing room area had something to do with this, but a decently attractive shopper came up and said “Uhm, hi! I really like these shoes but I want to go shop around some more before purchasing them. Could you hold them for me until I come back?”

I was quite surprised, but laughed and told him I didn’t work here. He laughed and went up to the cash registers after that. It wasn’t a tense or awkward experience, but as someone who only wishes to be seen as fashionable or put together most days (I’m busy and tired—third shift brooo), I took it as a huge compliment that I resembled someone who works at that store. Every time I go the employees are wearing super trendy clothes and usually have great style (hair clothes makeup etc) so I’m always a little jealous of them, and never expected to be mistaken for an employee! I went back to my dressing room, relayed the story of hot guy thinks I fit in at PacSun to my bf, and we high five-d and had a laugh!

Anybody else agree that IDWHL situations can sometimes be unintentional compliments or ego boosts?

TLDR; As someone who rarely puts in effort, I got a great ego boost being mistaken as a fashionable PacSun employee on one of the few days I actually tried!

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14

I finally get to post now.

The setting, if you will. 24 hour full sized grocery store, we'll call Quintucky Fried Chicken....and groceries. Downtown. 7am.

Having just gotten off the night shift, I have yet to remove my blue button up or blue tie. I nod to one of the employees, in their ratty hoody/glow vest combo as I enter, then head to isle 1.

I know exactly what I want. Only, I change my mind, because Mega sized Monster is 2 for $4 too? Fuck yeah. I grab my cans, and head back towards check out.

Thats when I hear it, a few meters behind me. "Excuse me, do you know if Jeff is working in the back?" in a pleasant, feminine voice.

It can't be for me, right? We all think it, just as we've all been proven wrong. Thinking back, I realize that except for a young woman I passed, I'm the only person in the isle. So naturally, I look back, see that indeed she was talking to me, and lock eyes with her.

Say something clever. Say something clever. "Uh... I dont work here." You're a natural, kid.

Lady, with an appropriately apologetic tone "Oh, I'm so sorry. It was just the shirt and tie....sorry again!"

I nodded, paid for my drinks, and left.

What a bitch, am I right?/s

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88

I work at a pharmacy and our dress code is a blue shirt, khakis, and name tag.

Coincidently Walmart is well known for their blue shirt employees as well, but if anyone with a brain has noticed; their workers can now wear any clothes with a Walmart logo vest over it so blue doesn’t really work anymore.

My boyfriend is a manager at Walmart and I frequently visit him after I’m done with my shift. The numbers of times I am asked where something is, bewilders me. I’m never in an employee-only space, and I never do anything employee related; but because I’m in blue I MUST work there. I haven’t had an unpleaseant person yet, and I can’t wait until I do. I will gladly direct them to the wrong end of the store or out the front doors just to mess with them :)

The odd story I do have though; My store is in a mall and on my breaks I like to browse other stores. I frequently visit Joanns because I love their manager. Joanns is a craft store that wear bright GREEN shirts or aprons. Once I was checking out the clearance (in my blue shirt uniform) moving some stuff to find items behind and this lady comes up to me and asks where something is. I tell her I don’t work there. She says okay and I think she leaves me. I start making my way out of the store to get back to work passing actual employees that I know and this girl is still following me! Like she thinks I actually work there and is trying to catch me. I’m still shocked.

Edit: I was in Walmart again and wearing my winter coat over my blue sweater (only the collar was slightly visible) and was browsing the plumbing section and this dude asks where something is. I was confused because I’m in a poofy jacket with sweatpants on. I said “I dont work here” and he responded as I walked away “Oh well I saw blue”. Then I remembered I had my blue sweater on underneath that he slightly saw. Yeah dude, I’m working in the back of the store with my jacket on... god I hate stupid people

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Background: I am a Sales Executive for a fairly large company in my city.

On Friday I was driving to my territory, and I heard my work cellphone go off. I ignored it because 1) I was listening to my favorite podcast, Watch What Crappens; 2) I've had a pain in the ass account call me three times already and it wasn't even 8:30 AM yet, and 3) I am driving. Caller leaves a voicemail, so I thought, "Oh, this might actually be important." I paused the Real Housewives recap and hit play on the voicemail.

Voicemail: Hi this is T**** with somethingsomething portable toilets on the job site in suburb city. We haven't heard from you and we need to know if we need to pick them up due to record low temperatures tonight. Please call me back at 555-555-5555.

I immediately thought, well I have literally nothing to do with this. But he sounds like a nice older gentleman, I should give him a call and let him know that he has the wrong number because this sounds important.

I gave my new friend a call and it went something along the lines of this:

Me: Hi this is Firstname Lastname with Companyname and I had a voicemail on my phone from a T****, would I be able to speak with him?

T: That's me! What do you want me to do? Come pick them up?

Me: Well, the reason why I am calling you is because you definitely have the wrong person and I wanted to let you know.

T: No I don't. I got your cell number from your desk voicemail.

Me: I can assure you that I don't know what's going on with this project or jobsite and I want to help you find the correct person.

T: You are the correct person.

Me: No... I handle things in (area that is an hour away).

T: But you're who I've been working with on this project.

Me: Sir, I can assure you that I am not that person.

This goes on for a bit before it really sinks in with him that I deal with accounts in (area that is an hour away).

T: Oh... Can't you look it up on your computer?

Me: No. I am in my car driving to (area that is an hour away).

I finally get him to look at the invoice, he gave me that person's name...... It's my coworker who's first name is the same as my last name...... sigh.... I am very obviously female when you speak with me on the phone...and you've been working with a guy on a project.... Shouldn't that have been the first clue that I wasn't the right person?

TL;DR: Shitters gonna freeze, panic ensues.

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919

I'm often mistaken for being an employee at many various locations. Maybe I just have a helpful face. This morning was an example of that and people trying to take advantage of other people's kindness. It was really cold in NE USA this morning. This often leads to the automatic tire pressure monitors showing the low pressure warnings. Mine included. So on the way to work, I stopped at the local gas station (not the kind of place with a mechanic) with a new, modern tire inflator (the kind that is automatic when setting the desired PSI). I start filling all my tires. Another car pulls up behind me (I think in a Ford Escape). An fully able bodied lady about my own age (in thirties, lets call her Tire Lady = "TL") gets right out and walks up to me while I'm filling a tire. I'm dressed in business casual and I drive a large SUV.

TL - "My tires light came on my dashboard. I don't know what to do. Can you help me?" Me - "Well, you need to put air in them. It's gotten cold and the pressures drop" TL - "My car is pretty new and never had a problem with tires. I don't know how they work." I did not reply. Continued to fill tire. TL climbed back into her car.

I realized pretty much instantly that this lady wanted to sit in her car while I put air in her tires. I decided that I wasn't going to do that for this lady. If it was an older person that could have actually appreciated it I would have just done it for them. I instead decided to teach this lady "how to fish" instead of catching one for her.

Halfway through my tires, I walked toward her car, and told her, "You should start taking these caps off your tires" and showed them to her.

TL - "I don't know how." and she kind of waved a dollar in my direction. Me - "I'll teach you"

This reinforced my initial suspicion. I said "No, no, I'll show you how."

I returned to finish my tires. Since I am a nice guy, I could have just left this lady, but I pulled my car up so she could pull into the spot wear the hose reaches and returned to her car. When she got out, I showed her where it says how much pressure the tires need in the door frame.

TL - "I can't read those from here" Me - "It says 33 PSI. Come here. Make the pump say 33 and hold this hose right onto the tire valve right here and it will beep loudly and automatically stop when done. Do it on all your tires."
TL - "I can't take those (valve caps) off they are too tight" Me - "Sure you can. I'll loosen it though" (which I did on all 4 tires) "Now I've got to go to my actual job now. Good luck. Have a great day"

This lady then just stared at me while I got back into my car and drive off.

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89 comments
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A derivative of subreddits like Tales From Retail that involves stories about folks that go into other businesses and have irate customers mistake them for employees. The more outrageous the story the better! *** Proud Member of [The Coalition of Online Communities](https://www.reddit.com/r/the_coalition/).

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