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355

I once drank a whole gallon of milk in a whole day and I could feel my bones expand. At first I thought I was just full from the milk, but my skin started to form stretch marks and I was visibly wider. I didn't know what was happening but I had an uncontrollable urge to drink more milk. I drove into the nearest gas station and literally ripped the door off the rifrigerated section containing the milk.

I started chugging gallon after gallon of milk standing right there in the store, my skin ripping at the seams. The cashier ran over to stop me but I swatted him aside and in one clean blow he landed across the room, shattering every bone in his pathetic meat suit. There was nothing left of him but a wet bloody puddle deprived of structure. I never thought I had it in me to kill but by now I had ascended beyond petty morality.

As I finished my eighth gallon it felt as though my stomach would rupture. My ribs broke out of my chest like a baby xxenomorph. My finger bones had grown through my hands a white nub could be seen protruding from my nose. My face was so stretched over my now massive skull I looked like Jenny McCarthy. My biceps and muscles were hard and calcified. My boner now had a bone.

I finished my twelfth gallon and began screaming and flexing, my skin tearing around my robust skeletal frame. With one final push I shed my meat chrysalis. I was free.

I didn't even use the door I simply walked out the wall of the gas station. Mortar and stone yielded to my mighty calcium. The cops were already there. In terror they began firing at me but even lead is no match for calcium. I walked straight toward one, reached down his throat and pulled his skeleton from his flesh sheath. With his bone I assembled a mighty claymore sword. With a single swing I cleaved the Earth in twain and descended into the inky black. Here I wait until the time I'm called into service for the great skellington war.

355
17 comments
4.0k

Why should we remove the Letter C? Well I will tell you why! First of we have 26 letters in the English alphabet, 25 would make this super satisfying. People would initially want to remove uncommon letters like X or Q but no C should be the one to be removed. First off C is a repost of S and K, those too letters make Original sounds but C just copies them and get used more (not combined). Secondly C design is Infuriating, it’s just an Oval with part of it Taken out, Every other letter at least adds on to a basic Shape. Thirdly C is a snob, not only did it copy the K and S sounds but it also has to be the third letter in the alphabet, so when people say A,B,C C can get off a little, and they don’t even have to say the whole alphabet. Fourthly Cat starts with C and cats are dumb. Fifthly C’s Letter pronunciation (C) is the most unoriginal sound ever not only is it stolen from English (See, Sea) it also steals from Spanish(Sí). Gosh Dang C is the worst letter to exist, we need to remove it before it becomes to powerful.

4.0k
194 comments
61

None. And it will stay that way. This country will elect a lesbian transsexual black albino with one leg and mother issues before it elects a Jewish president. Why? Because a Jewish president will do such a phenomenal job the American people will never settle for anything less. There’ll be a constitutional amendment requiring all presidents to be Jewish. Obviously, this is a state of affairs the powers that be cannot allow to come to fruition. “Once you go Jew, nothing else will do.”

61
9 comments
25

We can jack without lotion... you realize circumcised people just grab lower on the dick than the foreskin and that the skin on the rest of the dick is loose enough to still glide? Oh you didn’t realize that? Just more of the anti-circumcision propaganda? Shame. Maybe you’d win over more people of you didn’t resort to untruth and hyperbole.

25
4 comments
22

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Guess what old bigoted bitches 😏😝😌, I will make your sons GAY 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍👨👬, so you can get triggered 😈😈 then depressed 😉😉 Your son says he wants to fuck my anus 😩😣💦 so hard and so hot 🍆🍆🍌🍌💦💦💦 we gonna KISS and record a video then I will send you 😏😝😝😝😈😈 hahahhaha

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🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵 🔴🔵🔴 🔵🔴🔵

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⡠⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡠⡤⡤⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣗⢝⢮⢯⡺⣕⢡⡑⡕⡍⣘⢮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣝⢮⡪⡪⡪⡎⡎⡮⡲⣱⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⡳⡽⣝⢝⢌⢣⢃⡯⣗⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⡽⣺⢽⢽⢵⣻⢮⢯⠟⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠽⠽⡽⣽⣺⢽⠝⠄⠄⢰⢸⢝⠽⣙⢝⢿ ⡄⢸⢹⢸⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣵⣧⣫⣶⣜⣾ ⣧⣬⣺⠸⡒⠬⡨⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠡⠑⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠠⢀⢀⢀⡀⡀⠠⢀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢐⢀⠂⢄⠇⠠⠈⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠠⠈⢈⡄⠄⢁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠠⠐⣼⠇⠄⡀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⡀⠈⠂⣀⠄⢀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠐⢀⣸⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ I'm gnot a gnelf, I'm gnot a gnoblin, I'm a gnome! And you've been... gnomed!

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So I am generously endowed, and have a very good relationship with my dick. Lol. I occasionally post images on reddit and other places, and someone asked me if i could perform auto-fellatio. I hadn’t ever thought of it, so I read some tips, watched some videos and realized that because of my size and my general skinny frame, i have the ideal body type for sucking my own D. How exciting lol. So, there are a few different approaches, leaning forward or legs over your head. I tried the leaning forward approach but had no luck at all, so then i was like fuck it, got naked, layed down near a wall, threw my legs over my head, and slowly “walked down the wall” as the advice was. Holy shit i was close. Let me also say i was very aroused at the moment, and this was a few days of arousal, so my cock was extra hard and the head was pulsating. As the head flexed and i did, i got my tongue on the tip of my dick basically on the first try. WOW. I was excited and turned on, and hard as fuck.

So, i started stroking and pulling my cock closer to my mouth and it started getting even harder and now i can basically put my lips on the head. it felt insane and i was so happy. as i was stroking, my lips were able to almost fully cover the head, and i started to suckle. it didn’t take much. the whole situation caused a deep orgasm. the shaking kind.

sidebar- yes i came in my mouth. for reference i am totally straight and have never had a dick in my mouth. okay back to the story...

so i’m shaking, feet over my head, dick in my mouth, and the final release pushed my body into a further position, and there it was. not really sure what popped, but i collapsed onto my side and literally couldn’t move. cum dripping out of my mouth, laying on my side, naked, in the bathroom. luckily feeling came back soon and but i couldnt stand up. crawled to bed... had a friend bring me some muscle relaxers, said i tweaked it “cleaning under the counters” lol. still in bed, but can actually walk today for the first day.

luckily i don’t need to explain this to a doctor.

tl:dr - sucked my own d, came in my mouth, threw out my back.

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🙏 HOLY🙏 HECK!👹 ITS 🚫NO🚫 🥜NUT🥜 NOVEMBER. 😱OMG!😱 🚫NO🚫 JUICY 🔞🍆COCK🍆 FOR 😩HOE😢

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Why is this fucking goldfish so sexy? I want to feel its fat pink lips wrapped around my cock as I stroke its horn and cum into her goldfish mouth/stomach

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You didn’t have to say that. You didn’t have to terrify the millions whose eyes were unfortunate enough to fall upon this comment. All those people drawn to madness because of what you did. You could’ve prevented this, but you chose not to. You will live this with this guilt for the rest of your days and for even longer. You were the one who dug the grave.

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ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵘʸ ᵃ ᵏᵉʸᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᶜʰᶦᶰᵉˢᵉ ᵇᶦᵈᵈᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵉᵇˢᶦᵗᵉ

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Shéṅ̈́ͮ̂͌ͦ͊̿͋ͯ҉̡͔̜̱̘͓̲͔̞̙̭̬̤̕ mȩ̴͔̭̬͚̤͙̩ͬ̑̐̄̾ tā̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ mą̢̧̯̙͍͕͖̠̝̪̣̻̥͕͈̯͕̜͉͕̄̊ͦ̎̃̓̃̂ͦ̈̚͝ͅ de͎̭͍̖̳͚͙̗̻͈̥͖̲͉̲͍̭̙̽̂͌͊ͯ̍͋̍ͩͤ̄̚͡͝ nǐ̱̜͈͚̲̟̳̭͚̘̮̖̘͕̩̬ͧ̃̌̀̈͂ͪ͆͌̕ tāͮ͛̔́̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ mā̼̬̞̪̫͈̤̪̗̦͈̘̯̾͑ͤ͑ͯ̏ͤ̆̎͌ͫ̿̑͒ͤ̚͜͝͝ͅ dȅ̀̀͑̋́͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ gāng͆̎̄̍̊̒̏ͯ͆͆͛͂͠҉̶̼̙̻̭̯͍̠͖̱̖͇̖͎͈͉̹̕ cáï̢͎̣̖̱̝̏̂͐̋̀̒̐ͮ̅̈́̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ shuō̷̳͈̱̯͇̥̺͈̟̫͍̣̹̣̟̝̘͒̀̂ͥ̾̌̍̾͠ wǒ̵͌ͦ̈́ͬͮ̏ͦ̓͏̵͕̮̮̹̺͇͇̺͜͞ͅ,̵̶̯̜͚̻̝̣ͮ̇̈̂͋̿̅ͣ̂̇̿͗̉̍͌̍̓̿̉nǐ̷͇͎̥͉͖͈̮͍̟ͧͫ̑͂̄̍ͥ̆ͤ̿̒̽͋̈́͡ zhè̴̢̯̯̮̙͖̱ͥ̓̈́̇ͭͩ̓̇̀͘͠ xiǎo̾ͫ͑̃̑ͥ̆ͣͮ͗̓͐͋̅ͩ̇ͫ͞͏̞͎͈̣̼̗͓͈̭̪̭͎̘̬̯ biǎo̴̢̢̘̼̱̬̖̳͓̭ͬͩ̌̔ͣ̂̈̿̐̏̓͂̈ͬ̓͠͞ͅ zi̶̛̔ͦ̋̉ͤ̄͛̿ͤ͌ͯͪ̀҉̵͍̹͓͉̠͇̲̖̪͚?ͨ̄ͤ̓̓ͭ̒ͦ̑̍͏̸̯͖̣͚̹̭͈͉̖͓̬̘͓̰̩͓̗͠Wǒ̷̧̢̹͔̜̭̬̬̲͍̥͉ͨͪ̏̽͟͝ huį̲̯̰̹̪͚̜͕̤̀ͭ͊̈͑́ ràng̴̡̻̦̦̿͛ͤͮ̇̂̈́͆ͤͬ͞ nǐ̢̛̩̗̖̜͕͉̣̿̑ͦ͊̏̃̈́̑̎̽̏͑̊̄ͣ̔̉̾̽̕ zhī̫̞̘͓̤̱̝̩̥̼̪ͣ̉̑̎̾̑͞ dào̴̡̘̘͈̙̼̖̘͈͖̖̙͖̖̞̊͛͛ͮ̽́̎ wọ̡̧̦͚̗͎͇̞̩͖̙̩̞̘͇̹̌̅̾̐ͮ̽̆͛͆ͨ̀͗̓̔͋͝ bì̴̢͈̪͔͕̬͉̬̻̩̤̜̙̌ͭ̔̉͗͛ͪ̄̈́̀͝͡ yè̵̴̮̭͈̗̼̣̞̙͙̑͋͌͋ͮ͘͘ lȩ̖̥͎̺̜̼͓̭̠̩̬̺̫͇͙͉͉̻̽ͤͧ̒̓̏͐ͧ͑ͫ̒̒̐̎̿́ͧͩ͠ wǒ̸̖͔̩̳̗̗̝͔͎͈̝̀ͮͣ̽̀̕͞ bāņ̷͚͎͙̻͇̣̐̈́̿ͩ̽͛̉ͦ̿̊̽̓͆̌ de̟̻͚̜͇̟̗͎̘̓̈́ͩͭͯͦ̿̏̈ͪͯ́̚͟͞͞ dǐng̴̨̻̰̻͙͙̫͓̠̲̻͙͕͛̑̓ͬͨͧͭ̋̑ͧ̌͋ͬͨ̌͞ͅ bų̷̰̭̹͈̘̻͉͉̣̀̍̉̓ de̐̆ͮͭͣͬ͌ͥ҉̴̙͉̞͈̀͞ hǎiͪ̈́ͪ̓͛̀͛͏̷̨̩̮͕͉̦̼̥̕ͅ bàǫ̨̤̬͇̞̟̞̺ͥͩ͒̋͠ tų̷̳̪͈̭̄͐͌ͮͪ̈͠ jī̵̫̱͔̳̦̺̣̫̥̠̱ͤ̐̊̒͂ͭͨͦ̅̈̈́ͣͥͫͯ̈́̀͘͜͡ duì̙͕̬̭͕̻̖̦̠͔̗͚͙̣͔̣͛̃͑̔͒̎̈́̎ͮͫ̄̒͢ͅ,̶͙͍̪̙̠̰̠̑̎ͩͭ̉̌ͩ͂̽̑͛̐̅̅̏͜͝wǒ̤̭̗̺͇̰̓ͣ́ͥͥ̎ͭ͆̆̿̓̈̃͛ͩ̎́̑̚͢͡ yǐ̛͓̯̗̠̼̯̼͎ͨ̒̇̾ͫͨ̏͗͢͡͞ͅ jīng̊̀͋̈͛ͫ̊̄͂́̚͏̧̡̗̝̟̺̱̻̣̞ cān̷̄͗̒̄ͨͪ͐̒̑̄ͧ͛҉̡̧̯̜̫̹̺͇͉̝͉̩̝̀ͅ yư̠̬̜̙̩͕̝̌̇͆ͥͩ͑̈́̽̑̔ͭ̀ͅ lę͙̼̻̖̗̻͎̀͗̒̓̂͌͠͞ xư̸̸̬̹͎̮͕̻̮̰̖̌͑̍̌͒͗ͣ̐̓̈́͝ͅ duọ͚̮͙͙̲̄ͬ̀ͦ́̽̿̇ͧ̀͋ͦ͛͂̾̄̂͂ͮ͜ mì̸̗̞̹̭̖̻̥̠͖͇̺̩̝͈̙̓̎̄̋ͧ̿ͥ͒̓̈́͛̿͝ͅ mì̵͂̃ͫͮ̅́͗ͪ̚̚͡͏̷͚̩͕̘̱̹̗̘͓͈̠̮̝̲ xḭ̶̡͍̝̲̹͓̞̞̫̪͎͓̰̬́̾ͩ͊͌̿̅̎̆̈́̀̈̕͝ jī̶́̍̎̌͆͛ͦ̈́͒ͣ̈̚͞͝҉̨̳̤̗͍̗̳͓͉̦͈͉̬͓͚̫͕͓ dȩ̶̨̭̥̗͕͇̲̫̠͈̺̺̤͚̗̻͇̯͙͑̋̽̅̒ͦ͠ͅ jī̸̴̳̣̥̣͙̙̖̞̤̩͍̻̬͚̳̫ͪͭ͗̀ͫ̎͑̃̈̿̂ͨ̋ͪ̏ͮ͝ dȩͭ̇̐̓͊̒ͪ̎̄͊̏͠͏͎̱̬̜̮̯ zư̴̧̧̦͙̟̭̼̣̥͉̼̪̌ͪͤͦ͗ͮͦͤͮͤ̓ͦ͒̿ͥ̒̚͝ zhīͮ͗ͨͮ̔͑̆́̚͏̴̛͓̙̞̣̙̰̗̰̞͘,͗̓̋̋͒͊ͩ̈́͛ͮ̔ͦͬ͐҉͖̣̣̦͕̮̭̬̻̹̜̪͞ͅhę̠̼̠͔͍͓̙̖͖̲̹͖͔͈̠͇́̀ͦͨͥ͂͆ͨ͌ͩ͝ wǒ̞̱̤̯͚͓̯̞̼͖̣̈̊͗͐ͧ̐̅̀͢ yǒu̓̊͊ͫ̈͛̍̽ͤ͌̏ͯ͏̛̳̜̠̠̫̣͎͕͜͡ chāơ̸̧̳̺̰̫̻̗͚̻̥̺̬͉̞̦̙͚͖̲̓̌̇̐ͪ̌̏͐ͮͪͪ́ guờ̶̛̺̦̙̺̘͓ͥͣ͊ͤ̈́̿̔̑͐͌͌̄̽͢͞3͈̜͓͍͕̬̰̋̋ͣ̎̑ͨ̋̅̅͂ͦ́̒́́͢͝0̉ͣ̑ͤ͌̿͏̢̣̟̙̖̩̤̗̣͎͔͇̙̝́͞͠0̡̧̹̬͙͚̗̫͖̩͉̪̿ͧͯ̎̀͋̇̈ͧ̍̔͆ͤͣ̒ͫ̈́̐̇͡zhèng̡̺̻̻̞̯̱̙̙̥̋̌͑̒̃̇ͪ̈̿̄͑ͣ̔̑̉̎̚͠͝ͅ shí̍̍̀͂͒̍͏̡̫͕̼͇̞̹̤̠̪̝̞̀͞ shā̢̧̘̳͖̩̬̥̖͇͚͖̞̳̠̰͓̜̋̏ͭ͊͂̀̀́͡ͅ sǐ̸̶̫̗̲̟͔͍̤͉̺͓͕͍̹͉̳̯̈̿ͦͬ͛ͭͩ̃̓̉̃̋ͫ̊̕͝ͅ.̶̧̝͎͚̯̤̬̞̯͎͓̦͎͇̳̫͈̬ͩ͆̏̌̽ͦ͋̐͐̾̄̌͗̀́̚ͅWǒ̷̡͚͔̲͖͕̪̪͕̫̤̑̃̇̃̉̈̾̏̂̀̚͟ zàȉ̷̝͓̼̺̤̜̗͖̥͔̤̤̻ͤ̉ͦ̂͛͛̈́͂̄ͫ̅́̕ xùn̲̱̠͎̭̣̱̲͉͚̪̥̥̟̲͍̍͂͌̀ͦͧ̚͠͝ liàn̢͉̩̥̮̗͚̙̜͓̝̭̥̱̞͊͐̽ͣ̎̍ͯ͊͊ͩ̍́̊̄ͧͨ dę̛͉̮͕͙̦̳͖̣̼͉̯̲̥̳̞̠̝̘ͥ̎̎ͭ̉ͨ͋́͡ dà̽ͤ̒̈͛̑̔̔͐̄̓͢҉̢̥̩̦̭͍͍͙͔̳̤͔ xīng̴̢̢̛͕̟͚̰̬͈͕͓̖̹̤̃͊̐͜ xīng̙̟͍̺͔̺̯̒͆ͤ̐̈́̈̉̃͋̏ͯ̓ͧ͆ͬͨ͐͛̍͜͠ zhàn̴̲̻̫̥̦͈̟̜̗̮̋̄̑̂ͣͤͤ͌̑̓͋̽ͦ̽͆̆̕͝,̵͈̪̥͍̟̳̟̔̊̄̓̐̍ͧ̅ͫ͐ͣ͛ͧ̄̾̈̍͋͢wǒ̶̧̔̂̈ͭͫ̑̾҉̭̥͙̞̪͕̖͖̻̳̤̮̣̯̗ zàį̸͎̫͈̻͈͈̘͇̩̰̮̰ͬͤ͛̄̐̀͊ͣͅ zhěng̸͓̣̜̗̬̙̗͔͍̻̾ͩ͊̓̆̎̽̎͆ͬ́̀̚͘͠ gè̛̛̩̙̼̬̫͎̽ͪ̃̍͌ͣ̐̋͒͋͋͘͢ měiͤ̉̽ͤ́͏̻̫̥͕̼̤̘̜͔̥͍̬̪͈̦͖͝͡͝ guó̴̯͍͙̯͎̤̟͇̳̠͆̇̈͑̓̃̃ͧ́̕̕ jūn̢͚̠̱̘̗̯̝̙ͭ̆ͭͧ͢͝ duì̩͕̖͔̠̫̱̰͓̟̞̙̱̥̣̿ͮ́ͨ͆ͨͬͧͯ͘͢͡ͅ de̋̑̂ͩͥ̂ͬ̌͊̂͋͆̍ͣ͛̋ͯ̐ͣ҉̸̶̹̜̤͉̟̣̺̩̖ zuì̶̠̟̮̣͛͒̽ͣ̎͗ͭ̿̒ gāo̴̧̬͍̙͕̟̮̟͎̭̞̪͕̳̠͚̙͕̦̓̓͊̂ͥͯͪ̎͋̑ͫ̀ͧͪ̉ͣ́͢ jū̴̸̻͖͈̬͍̙̙͓̦͕̣̠̝͎͔̗̖͎̀̊ͭͩ͒͆ͤ̒ͯ̿͂ͧ́͒ͬ͡͝ jī̷͗̐̆͐ͥ̉̏͐̋̀̆͛̐͆͂͛̇ͭ͏̜̫͈̠͖̠̣̯͇̺̠͇̠͓͙͝ shǒů͎̤̟͍̰̼͍͈̉̂ͭ̄ͬͩ͊ͬ̇̾̚͟͝͝͡.̶̡̺͎͉̩̘̼̬͚͎̩̜̝̩̬̄ͥ͑ͮͭ̆̇ͤ̾̉̽͝͡Nǐ̧̧͍̠͎̆ͨ̃̔ͨ͝ shì̶̷̢͖̗̠͈͎̜̱͎̭͆̔͗ͨ̀̀̅̑̍ͩ̊ͯͪ̐̈́͂͠ wǒ͇̣̟̜̼̙̩͕̠̫͈̗̣̟̅̅̄̓͒ͫͫ̓̂͑͋̌͆̄̇ͦͮ̚͘̕ shéṋ̶̫̘̭͍͍̎̇͆͌ͮͯͬ̾̐̈ͬͥ̂́́͜ me͒͐̽͆͗ͮ̊͆̂ͤͬ̊̿̀̚҉̛̮̰̫̭̯̹͍̭̗͚͙̭̹͎̖̦ dōu̷̷̢̪̬̭͔̤̩̠͈̞̤̻ͯ̍ͤͭͦͨ̊̅ͦ͗̀͜ bừ̴͉͈̟̥̗͇̮̝̯̣͚̦͕͚̬̯̭ͧ͋ͥ͒ͣ̐͛̂̓͒̾̅͋̔͜͢ͅ shì̴̽ͤ͆̂̉͋ͤͮ̑̾̽͂̚͏̤̼̙̮̻̳̮̮̲͓̬̦̟̹̫̱̻ͅ,̵̛̹̥͔͕͚̗̰̳̮̲̭̟͎̫̫̳̗͕̠̍͒ͧ̒̽̈́́ͫͬ̑̃͝͞dàn̺̦̞͙̬̻̺̘͔͇͚̰̟̲̤̺̓ͯ̉̍̿̽ͨ̊ͤͮ̈́̽ͪͧ̄ͩ̕͜ zhǐ̵̝͈̲̜̯̮̟̫̱̝͎̲͓͙͉̱̠ͯ̄ͤ̒̉̔̊͛̈́̌ͫ̕͟͜͟ shì̸̸̧̜̘̪̩͚͌͆͌ͨͤͬ̿͊͌̃͌̚͟͜ yī̶̢̪͔͍͎̳͔̬̹̤̦͎̯ͣ̒̉͑̿̓̌̌̐̀̽͌͑̄͛̓̚͡͠ gè̴̖̻̠͉̝ͩͯ͋ͫͧ̔͌̐͌̒͑͘͜͡ mù̵͖̮͍̞͉̙͎͍͔̥͕̐̉ͬͦ̈͊̎͗͋͆̇ͥ̀̂̅̊̆͌̊͞ͅͅ biāǫ̥͕̗̱̫̼̘̤͈̦͎̞͉͍̭͉̮͖ͯͯ̎̓͘.̷̶̱̳͇͙̟̞͓̓̿͒̄̀̑ͧ͛ͨͫ͑ͥͩ̇ͣ̄͊̀Wǒ̡̖̣͎͉͇͉̹̩̯͍̘͐ͬ͆̅̎͒ͬ̆͗̆̓͊̿͞ huì̶̴̸͍͙͙̱͙̞͉͚̐̽ͯͪ̋̉̔̀́ xiāȍ̴̡ͣ̌̓̑ͤͦ̐̇ͩ̽̐͒̚҉̧̣̝̰̗̺̭̜̜͖͖͢ miè̷̛̺̟͉͎̙͓͚̱̪̳ͧͧͨ͊̄̂́̔ nǐ̸̵̢͖̻̬̠̙̜̟ͯ̎̾ͫ̿͒͑ͥ̊̓̇̾ͦͩͫͫ̅̒̌̀͢ tā̂͆̃̋̌ͪ͒̔̋̅̎ͩ̌͌̀̚̚҉̛̩̺̠̲̟̩̬͙̳̬̼͉͖̰̜̣̼͉̻ mā͐ͯ́̐̿͆ͪ̀̚͏̖̣͉͍̯̗̹͢ͅ dẽ̡̮̙͇̙̝̺̳͎̩̥̣̜̲ͥ̾̒ͣ͊͢ jīng̵̨̡̬͎̱͓̅͐̔͗̂͂̋́͝ dų̧̀̓̉͊͌̇͒̉̐̉̐̃ͩ̔̄̓̌̑҉̨̠̩͖̖͠ xǐ̴̴̡͎̭̦͍̠͚̥̰̪͍͇̘̪̣͉͑͂̅ͧͭ̐͊ͨ̀͐͌͂ͦͥ̕ͅ huān̍̊ͣ̍ͤ̽͊ͩ̇͒̎͐̀ͯ̔̀̚҉̷̨̛̝̠̹̝ nǎ̵̒̄̑ͩ̄͗̚͡҉͚͈̤̝̫̻̙͇̭ yį̵͍̙̥̯̦̯̄ͮͬ̏̈́̄͑͐ͩ͗ͨ̈́̑̓ͤͣ̃ͩ̉́ gè̢̆̃̉ͬͭ̃̀̽ͧ̎̈̀̚͝҉͚̠̣̟̣͍͓̫̬͙̬̹̬͕̩͍̳̖̱ cóng̵̶ͦͫͣ̒͏̪͔̜̞̙̪̥͕̺̣̠̞̝ wèi̵̷̢̗͍̭̟͉̩͖̙ͪ͋̑͋̽̄ͩͦ͞ͅ jiàn̴̡̘̘̝̭̼̭͕̫̄ͦͪͣͩ̓́̉̅̓̍͌̚ guò̴̡̖̘͖̮ͬ̊ͩ͒̄̆͑̄̓̍̊ͥ̉̉ͮ̉͂̽ zàį̵ͭͩ͊̈́ͥ̉ͪͭ̑͆̄̓̆ͩ̏̃̏͏͏̥͍̞͔̰̬͙̹̱̠ͅ zhè̎͛̈̒̄̆̉̀̑ͥ̐ͬ̚҉̵͝͏̝̩̬̲̬͇͍̝̫ gę̷̷̧͙̗̩̖͍̬̪͎̀̋͗ͤ̃͑͐̒̿͐ͫ̉͒ͨ dė̤͔̦͈̜̹̽͛́̀ qiú̴̵͋͐̀̈́̏͐̏̆͛̾͊ͨ͐҉̠̹̗̺͔̭͇͞ shàng̵̶̻̹͈͈̟̖͍̼̯͎̤͎͓̬͆ͫ̒͂͋ͯ̿͆̓́̕͝ͅ,̆̿͛͛͏͎̖͙̫̫jì̸̛̠͖͓͈̰͉̣̤͈̜̪̱̰̩̦̬̌̒̉͂͛͊̍́͊̉́̚͢ zhù̢ͯ̓ͮͫ͑ͤ̊͟͏̤̤̞̖͉̘̪͇̗͚͕͈̭ wǒͬ̊̽͊̿͋̽̾͂ͥ̋̾̍̿̍ͧ͘͝͏̯̪̩̬͈̗̗̦̳̲̖̠̼ dē̢̛͔̩͇͎̩͉͎͉̙̻̟̺̱͓̬ͩ͂ͪ̓̒͐ͭͧ̓̑̐̋͂̐̓ͬ̏ͯ̕͝ huà̘̘͎̫̬̤̻̘̩͊ͨ̋ͧ̏̈́̒͘͢͟͟ tā̸̴͓͎̱̜̱͚̞̮̮̱̓̅̅ͦ͛̈ͩ̑̚ͅ mā̧̡̛̺̱̥͈̫̭ͪ̆̓̓ͤ͆͒̿̒̀̿̌̅̉̾ͫ́ dẹ̛̟̹̮̫̣̗̼̣̞͕̳͕̌̀̊ͫ̏͂ͩͬͮ̈͋́͟͠͞.̸̆ͤ̓̃̈́͗̓͆̋̒͌ͧ͏͚̗̞͇̳̙̭̟̖̣͙͕̟̥̙ͅͅNǐ̴̢ͭ̉̂̂ͪ̉͊͏̸̝͖̻͕̠͙̝͓̻̗ yǐ̛̑͌ͦͪ̑̆ͩ̉͗͗̕͡͏̘͔̬̳̲ͅ wèi̵̴̤̻̼̣̠͖ͯ̈́̓ͨͫ̄̋̆ͥ̒́ͮ̑̇̔͐̊̚͡ nǐ̢̺̰̥̤͔̙͚̲̩̩͔̞͙͔̓̑ͯͯ̓́̐͒̒ͩ̏̆ͫ̆̾ͩ͋̾̽͡͡ kě͗ͤ͐̎͒̆ͭ̋ͥ͏͕̗̹̩̬̟͢͝ yǐ̧̆̊̈̑ͥ̉ͤ̓ͪ͒ͯ̀̄̂͗́ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ táơ̠͈̰͍̳̲̫͇͉͕̗̹̝̲̇͑ͮ̂̿ͬͮ͒̑ͫ͐̒͠ͅ tuō̓ͩ͛͑̾͊́͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ shuō̢̏̽͊͂̃̓̿͢͏̣͉̖̤̪̝̤̩̰͓̣̹̲̬̲̮̦͚͇ gǒų̴̢̛̬̼̜̈ͭ̓̇̓ͤͅ shǐ̵̧̿͗̈́͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ wǒ̧͖͎͍̹͚͙͉̖͍̞̬̫̪ͩͪͥ͑ͧ̓̓͐ͨ͡͠͡ zàī̷̸̯̗̪̯͍̥͕̠̣̹͈̯̪̫͒̄̉̓͜͠ͅ hù̴̷̘̬̯̫̬̻͇͉͉̹͖̰̋͑̋̈̒̀ͪ̑̉̓͑̌ͫͥ͒́ lián̆͂͋̆̈́͋̑͐̌̌ͥ̋̽̃̓́͏͙͚͇̪͙̜̬̠͢͟ wǎng̷̴̓͆̍̔̇ͩ͗̋̓͒ͬ̾ͫ̍̆͏̤̰̀̕ͅ shàng̴̷̛̭͙͍̤̱̣̭̖̩̱͍̹̟ͯ̑̐̊ͩ͊̎ͬ̍̚̕?͔̪̬͕̘ͤ͌͂̈ͬͪ̋̂ͨ̄ͧ̓̒ͥ̑̾͊͞Zàḭ̷̴̡̢̫̟͉̲͍̯̘̳͓̰̼̯̝̠̍̋̎̂̃̈́͂̿͗̑͛ͣ͝ xiǎngͩ̐̍̈̓ͩ͊͛ͬ̇ͥ̋̚͜҉̺̲̪͇̲͍̝̮̼̘ͅ xiǎng̴̼̳̺̹̠̣̱͚ͮ̂ͣͬ̊̅͋͛̂͗͛͆̎̂͐̈́̚,̧͕̻̮̩̘̲̯̣̺̦͕͎̮̜̲̘ͬ̇͐͂̀́͞͠bèn̴̪̯̗͕̥͎̼̖͙̠̙̪̆́ͤ̊ͮ̒̏̏͊͘͜͢͝ dàņ̵̢͎̲͓̙̳̫͚͚̦ͥ̎̉͌̄̓̊ͯͥ͜͞.̵͐ͮ͋ͬ̃̉͊̀́͏͙͇̺̦Zài̜͕̭͎͙̓̎ͣ͛͟͠ wǫ̌ͥ͐̔̃̀̇̒̀̀͏̧͔͙̲̭͕ men̢̋ͤ͆ͭͧͯ͊̐̍̄ͯͪ͟͏͈̙̫̠̹͙̺̙̪̱̘ fā́̈ͨͯ̉̍̇̀̇͊̉ͪ҉͖̟̱͉͍̩̝̯̣̯ͅ yáņ̴̙̟̩̰͔͍̪͓͉̜̺͓̺̮̗̳ͥͭ͑̄ͧ̿̅̋̿͂̏̀̚,̨̧̳̼͙͖̪͆̇̌́̿͐̽͂̈́̃̊̉ͅwǒ̡̈ͩ͆̓ͩ͊̅̽͗͆ͨ̒ͯ͐̆̉̀̚̕͏̲͇̻̰̖̪̙̗̰ͅ lián̷̠̮̭̩̝̹̹̂̐̀ͣ̇̈͒ͯ͛̎̋ͨ͌͘͘͘͜ͅ xì̡̹̦̥̘̞̝̣̣̳̯͖͙̑ͮ͗̀ͨ̅̌̈́ͫͮ̓́͠ wọ̶̬͉͇̫̲͉̺̙̮͎̤̌ͨ͗̂ͫ͛ͮͤ́̐ͤ͘̕ͅ dë̸̷̛͔̥̖͕̯̟̥̬̠̮̬̭͙̙̦̱̳̐̈́͊̑̿͊ͩ̾ͅ mì̛ͣ͆̊͒̔̕҉̴̛̙̜̮̞̰ mì̽ͧ̐̓ͨͧ̀͂

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什̇̈́ͮ̂͌ͦ͊̿͋ͯ҉̡͔̜̱̘͓̲͔̞̙̭̬̤̕么ͬ̑̐ ̴̧͔̭̬͚̤͙̩̾ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ̶͓̱̯̝̣̗͙̣̗̃̏̾̿̏͢͟ ͮ͛̔ ͮ͛̔ ͮ͛̔ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ̇͋̇ͨͨ͏͕̤̲̱̗̥͈̱̘͔͍̖̜͢͡ͅ ͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ ͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ ͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ ͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ ͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ ͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ ͊̾ͣ̋̃̓ͦͬ̉͌҉͏̧̧̛̜̞̪̫͍̖̱̳͈͖̤̱͚͎̜͚͕̱̼ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̢͎̣̖̱̝̓͛ͬ̒̾͟͝͠ ̵ͬͮ̏ͦ̓͏̵͕̮̮̹̺͇͇̺͜͞ͅ ̵ͬͮ̏ͦ̓͏̵͕̮̮̹̺͇͇̺͜͞ͅ ̵ͬͮ̏ͦ̓͏̵͕̮̮̹̺͇͇̺͜͞ͅ ̵ͬͮ̏ͦ̓͏̵͕̮̮̹̺͇͇̺͜͞ͅ ̴̢̢̘̼̬̖̳͓̭͞ sub ̶̛̔ͦ̋̉ͤ̄͛̿ͤ͌ͯͪ҉̵͍̹͓͉̠͇̖̪͚? ͨ̄ͤ̓̓ͭ̒ͦ̑̍͏̸̯͖̣͚̹̭͈͉̖͓̬̘͓̰̩͓̗͠ I ̷̧̢̹͔̜̭̬̬͍̥͉ͨͪ̏̽͟͝ will ̨̯̰̹̪͚̜͕̤ͭ͊̈͑ let ̴̡̻̦̦̿͛ͤͮ̇̈͆ͤͬ͞ ̢̛̩̗̖̜͕͉̣̿̑ͦ͊̏̈̑̽̏͑̊̄ͣ̔̉̾̽̕ you know ̫̞̘͓̤̝̩̥̼̪ͣ̉̑̾̑͞ Road ̴̡̘̘͈̙̼̖̘͈͖̖̙͖̖̞̊͛͛ͮ̽ I ̡̧̣̦͚̗͎͇̞̩͖̙̩̞̘͇̹̅̾̐ͮ̽̆͛͆ͨ͗̓̔͋͝ complete ̴̢͈̪͔͕̬͉̬̻̩̤̜̙̌ͭ̔̉͗͛ͪ̄̈͝͡ industry ̵̴̮̭͈̗̼̣̞̙͙̑͋͌͋ͮ͘͘ the ̟̻͚̜͇̟̗͎̘̓̈ͩͭͯͦ̿̏̈ͪͯ̚͟͞͞ top ̴̨̻̰̻͙͙̫͓̠̻͙͕͛̑̓ͬͨͧͭ̋̑ͧ̌͋ͬͨ̌͞ part ̧̖̥͎̺̜̼͓̭̠̩̬̺̫͇͙͉͉̻̽ͤͧ̒̓̏͐ͧ͑ͫ̒̒̐̿ͧͩ͠ I ̸̖͔̩̳̗̗̝͔͎͈̝ͮͣ̽̕͞ class ̷̧͚͎͙̻͇̣̐̈̿ͩ̽͛̉ͦ̿̊̽̓͆̌ of ̷̨̰̭̹͈̘̻͉͉̣̍̉̓ of ̐̆ͮͭͣͬ͌ͥ҉̴̙͉̞͈͞ sea ͪ̈ͪ̓͛͛͏̷̨̩̮͕͉̦̼̥̕ leopard ̨̨̤̬͇̞̟̞̺ͥͩ͒̋͠ sudden ͐͌ͮͪ ̷̨̳̪͈̭͠ hit ̵̫͔̳̦̺̣̫̥̠ͤ̐̊̒ͭͨͦ̅̈̈ͣͥͫͯ̈͘͜͡ team ̙͕̬̭͕̻̖̦̠͔̗͚͙̣͔̣͛͑̔͒̈ͮͫ̄̒͢, ̶͙͍̪̙̠̰̠̑ͩͭ̉̌ͩ̽̑͛̐̅̅̏͜͝ I ̤̭̗̺͇̰̓ͣͥͥͭ͆̆̿̓̈͛ͩ̑̚͢͡ have been ̊͋̈͛ͫ̊̄̚͏̧̡̗̝̟̺̻̣̞ ̛͓̯̗̠̼̯̼͎ͨ̒̇̾ͫͨ̏͗͢͡͞ participation ̷̄͗̒̄ͨͪ͐̒̑̄ͧ͛҉̡̧̯̜̫̹̺͇͉̝͉̩̝ and ̛̠̬̜̙̩͕̝̇͆ͥͩ͑̈̽̑̔ͭ the ̨͙̼̻̖̗̻͎͗̒̓͌͠͞ many ̸̸̛̬̹͎̮͕̻̮̰̖͑̍̌͒͗ͣ̐̓̈͝ multi ̣͚̮͙͙ͬͦ̽̿̇ͧ͋ͦ͛̾̄ͮ͜ secret ̸̗̞̹̭̖̻̥̠͖͇̺̩̝͈̙̓̄̋ͧ̿ͥ͒̓̈͛̿͝ close ̵ͫͮ̅͗ͪ̚̚͡͏̷͚̩͕̘̹̗̘͓͈̠̮̝ attack ̶̡̰͍̝̹͓̞̞̫̪͎͓̰̬̾ͩ͊͌̿̅̆̈̈̕͝ hit ̶̍̌͆͛ͦ̈͒ͣ̈̚͞͝҉̨̳̤̗͍̗̳͓͉̦͈͉̬͓͚̫͕͓ of ̶̧̨̭̥̗͕͇̫̠͈̺̺̤͚̗̻͇̯͙͑̋̽̅̒ͦ͠ base ̸̴̳̣̥̣͙̙̖̞̤̩͍̻̬͚̳̫ͪͭ͗ͫ͑̈̿ͨ̋ͪ̏ͮ͝ to ͭ̇̐̓͊̒ͪ̄͊ ̧͠͏͎̬̜̮̯ group ̴̧̧̛̦͙̟̭̼̣̥͉̼̪ͪͤͦ͗ͮͦͤͮͤ̓ͦ͒̿ͥ̒̚͝ organization ͮ͗ͨͮ̔͑̆̚͏̴̛͓̙̞̣̙̰̗̰̞͘, ͗̓̋̋͒͊ͩ̈͛ͮ̔ͦͬ͐҉͖̣̣̦͕̮̭̬̻̹̜̪͞ and ̨̠̼̠͔͍͓̙̖͖̹͖͔͈̠͇ͦͨͥ͆ͨ͌ͩ͝ I ̞̤̯͚͓̯̞̼͖̣̈̊͗͐ͧ̐̅͢ have ̓̊͊ͫ̈͛̍̽ͤ͌̏ͯ͏̛̳̜̠̠̫̣͎͕͜͡ ultra ̸̧̛̳̺̰̫̻̗͚̻̥̺̬͉̞̦̙͚͖̓̌̇̐ͪ̌̏͐ͮͪͪ over ̶̛̛̺̦̙̺̘͓ͥͣ͊ͤ̈̿̔̑͐͌͌̄̽͢͞3͈̜͓͍͕̬̰̋̋ͣ̑ͨ̋̅̅ͦ̒͢͝0̉ͣ̑ͤ͌̿͏̢̣̟̙̖̩̤̗̣͎͔͇̙̝͞͠0̡̧̹̬͙͚̗̫͖̩͉̪̿ͧͯ͋̇̈ͧ̍̔͆ͤͣ̒ͫ̈̐̇͡ card ̡̺̻̻̞̯̙̙̥̋̌͑̒̇ͪ̈̿̄͑ͣ̔̑̉̚͠͝ real ̍̍͒̍͏̡̫͕̼͇̞̹̤̠̪̝̞͞ kill ̢̧̘̳͖̩̬̥̖͇͚͖̞̳̠̰͓̜̋̏ͭ͊͡ dead ̸̶̫̗̟͔͍̤͉̺͓͕͍̹͉̳̯̈̿ͦͬ͛ͭͩ̓̉̋ͫ̊̕͝. ̶̧̝͎͚̯̤̬̞̯͎͓̦͎͇̳̫͈̬ͩ͆̏̌̽ͦ͋̐͐̾̄̌͗̚ I ̷̡͚͔͖͕̪̪͕̫̤̑̇̉̈̾̏̚͟ practice ̢͉̩̥̮̗͚̙̜͓̝̭̥̞͊͐̽ͣ̍ͯ͊͊ͩ̍̊̄ͧͨ in ̷̝͓̼̺̤̜̗͖̥͔̤̤̻̏ͤ̉ͦ͛͛̈̄ͫ̅̕ training ̠͎̭̣͉͚̪̥̥̟͍̍͌ͦͧ̚͠͝ ̨̛͉̮͕͙̦̳͖̣̼͉̯̥̳̞̠̝̘ͥͭ̉ͨ͋͡ large ̽ͤ̒̈͛̑̔̔͐̄̓͢҉̢̥̩̦̭͍͍͙͔̳̤͔ ̴̢̢̛͕̟͚̰̬͈͕͓̖̹̤͊̐͜ ape ape ̙̟͍̺͔̺̯̒͆ͤ̐̈̈̉͋̏ͯ̓ͧ͆ͬͨ͐͛̍͜͠ war ̴̻̫̥̦͈̟̜̗̮̋̄̑ͣͤͤ͌̑̓͋̽ͦ̽͆̆̕͝, ̵͈̪̥͍̟̳̟̔̊̄̓̐̍ͧ̅ͫ͐ͣ͛ͧ̄̾̈̍͋͢ I ̶̧̔̈ͭͫ̑̾҉̭̥͙̞̪͕̖͖̻̳̤̮̣̯̗ ̩͕̖̿ͮͨ͆ͨͬͧͯ͘͢͡ in ̸̨͎̫͈̻͈͈̘͇̩̰̮̰ͬͤ͛̄̐͊ͣ entire ̸͓̣̜̗̬̙̗͔͍̻̾ͩ͊̓̆̽͆ͬ̚͘͠ a ̛̛̩̙̼̬̫͎̽ͪ̍͌ͣ̐̋͒͋͋͘͢ US military ̢͚̠̘̗̯̝̙ͭ̆ͭͧ͢͝ team ͤ̉̽ͤ͏̻̫̥͕̼̤̘̜͔̥͍̬̪͈̦͖͝͡͝ States ̴̯͍͙̯͎̤̟͇̳̠͆̇̈͑̓ͧ̕̕ ͔̠̫̰͓̟̞̙̥̣ of ̋̑ͩͥͬ̌͊͋͆̍ͣ͛̋ͯ̐ͣ҉̸̶̹̜̤͉̟̣̺̩̖ most ̶̠̟̮̣͛͒̽ͣ͗ͭ̿̒ high ̴̧̬͍̙͕̟̮̟͎̭̞̪͕̳̠͚̙͕̦̓̓͊ͥͯͪ͋̑ͫͧͪ̉ͣ͢ spy ̴̸̻͖͈̬͍̙̙͓̦͕̣̠̝͎͔̗̖͎̊ͭͩ͒͆ͤ̒ͯ̿ͧ͒ͬ͡͝ hit ̷͗̐̆͐ͥ̉̏͐̋̆͛̐͆͛̇ͭ͏̜̫͈̠͖̠̣̯͇̺̠͇̠͓͙͝ hand ͎̤̟͍̰̼͍͈̊̉ͭ̄ͬͩ͊ͬ̇̾̚͟͝͝͡.̶̡̺͎͉̩̘̼̬͚͎̩̜̝̩̬̄ͥ͑ͮͭ̆̇ͤ̾̉̽͝͡ you ̧̧͍̠͎̆ͨ̔ͨ͝ is ̶̷̢͖̗̠͈͎̜͎̭͆̔͗ͨ̅̑̍ͩ̊ͯͪ̐̈͠ I ͇̣̟̜̼̙̩͕̠̫͈̗̣̟̅̅̄̓͒ͫͫ̓͑͋̌͆̄̇ͦͮ̚͘̕ even ̶̭̫̘̭͍͍̇͆͌ͮͯͬ̾̐̈ͬͥ͜ it ͒͐̽͆͗ͮ̊͆ͤͬ̊̿̚҉̛̮̰̫̭̯̹͍̭̗͚͙̭̹͎̖̦ are ̷̷̢̪̬̭͔̤̩̠͈̞̤̻ͯ̍ͤͭͦͨ̊̅ͦ͗͜ not ̴̛͉͈̟̥̗͇̮̝̯̣͚̦͕͚̬̯̭ͧ͋ͥ͒ͣ̐͛̓͒̾̅͋̔͜͢ is ̴̽ͤ͆̉͋ͤͮ̑̾̽̚͏̤̼̙̮̻̳̮̮͓̬̦̟̹̫̻, ̵̛̹̥͔͕͚̗̰̳̮̭̟͎̫̍͒ͧ̒̽̈ͫͬ̑͝͞ ̫̳̗͕̠ but ̺̦̞͙̬̻̺̘͔͇͚̰̟̤̺̓ͯ̉̍̿̽ͨ̊ͤͮ̈̽ͪͧ̄ͩ̕͜ only ̵̝͈̜̯̮̟̫̝͎͓͙͉̠ͯ̄ͤ̒̉̔̊͛̈̌ͫ̕͟͜͟ is ̸̸̧̜̘̪̩͚͌͆͌ͨͤͬ̿͊͌͌̚͟͜ a ̶̢̪͔͍͎̳͔̬̹̤̦͎̯ͣ̒̉͑̿̓̌̌̐̽͌͑̄͛̓̚͡͠ a ̴̖̻̠͉̝ͩͯ͋ͫͧ̔͌̐͌̒͑͘͜͡ goal ̵͖̮͍̞͉̙͎͍͔̥͕̐̉ͬͦ̈͊͗͋͆̇ͥ̅̊̆͌̊͞ standard ̨̥͕̗̫̼̘̤͈̦͎̞͉͍̭͉̮͖ͯͯ̓͘. ̷̶̳͇͙̟̞͓̓̿͒̄̑ͧ͛ͨͫ͑ͥͩ̇ͣ̄͊ I ̡̖̣͎͉͇͉̹̩̯͍̘͐ͬ͆̅͒ͬ̆͗̆̓͊̿͞ will ̶̴̸͍͙͙͙̞͉͚̐̽ͯͪ̋̉̔ eliminate ̴̡̏ͣ̌̓̑ͤͦ̐̇ͩ̽̐͒̚҉̧̣̝̰̗̺̭̜̜͖͖͢ off ̷̛̺̟͉͎̙͓͚̪̳ͧͧͨ͊̄̔ you ̸̵̢͖̻̬̠̙̜̟ͯ̾ͫ̿͒͑ͥ̊̓̇̾ͦͩͫͫ̅̒̌͢ he ̡̮̙͇̙̝̺̳͎̩̥̣̜ͥ̾̒ͣ͊͢ fine ̵̨̡̬͎͓̅͐̔͗̋͝ degree ̨̧̓̉͊͌̇͒̉̐̉̐ͩ̔̄̓̌̑҉̨̠̩͖̖͠ ͆̋̌ͪ͒̔̋̅ͩ̌͌̚̚҉̛̩̺̠̟̩̬͙̳̬̼͉͖̰̜̣̼͉̻ mother ͐ͯ̐̿͆ͪ̚͏̖̣͉͍̯̗̹͢ likes ̴̴̡͎̭̦͍̠͚̥̰̪͍͇̘̪̣͉͑̅ͧͭ̐͊ͨ͐͌ͦͥ̕ joy ̍̊ͣ̍ͤ̽͊ͩ̇͒͐ͯ̔̚҉̷̨̛̝̠̹̝ which ̵̒̄̑ͩ̄͗̚͡҉͚͈̤̝̫̻̙͇̭ a ̵̨͍̙̥̯̦̯ͮͬ̏̈̄͑͐ͩ͗ͨ̈̑̓ͤͣͩ̉ a ̢̆̉ͬͭ̽ͧ̈̚͝҉͚̠̣̟̣͍͓̫̬͙̬̹̬͕̩͍̳̖ from ̵̶ͦͫͣ̒͏̪͔̜̞̙̪̥͕̺̣̠̞̝ not ̵̷̢̗͍̭̟͉̩͖̙ͪ͋̑͋̽̄ͩͦ͞ see ̴̡̘̘̝̭̄ͦͪͣͩ̓̉̅̓̍͌̚ ̼̭͕̫ ͬ̊ͩ͒ ̆͑ ̆͑ ̴̡̖̘͖̮̓̍̊ͥ̉̉ͮ̉͂̽ 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在 在̆ͤ̓̃̈ ̸͗̓͆̋̒͌ͧ͏͚̗̞͇̳̙̭̟̖̣͙͕̟̥̙ͅͅ ̸͗̓͆̋̒͌ͧ͏͚̗̞͇̳̙̭̟̖̣͙͕̟̥̙ͅͅ ̸͗̓͆̋̒͌ͧ͏͚̗̞͇̳̙̭̟̖̣͙͕̟̥̙ͅͅ ̸͗̓͆̋̒͌ͧ͏͚̗̞͇̳̙̭̟̖̣͙͕̟̥̙ͅͅ ̸͗̓͆̋̒͌ͧ͏͚̗̞͇̳̙̭̟̖̣͙͕̟̥̙ͅͅ ̴̢ͭ̉̂̂ͪ̉͊͏̸̝͖̻͕̠͙̝͓̻̗ ͯ̈ ̓ͨͫ ̓ͨͫ ̓ͨͫ ̋̆ͥ̒̚ ̵̴̤̻̼̣̠͖ͮ̑̇̔͐̊͡ ̵̴̤̻̼̣̠͖ͮ̑̇̔͐̊͡ ̓ͨͫ ̓ͨͫ ̢̺̰̥̤͔̙͚̲̩̩͔̞͙͔̐͒̒ͩ̏̆ͫ̆̾ͩ͋̾̽͡͡ ̵̴̤̻̼̣̠͖ͮ̑̇̔͐̊͡ ̵̴̤̻̼̣̠͖ͮ̑̇̔͐̊͡ ̵̴̤̻̼̣̠͖ͮ̑̇̔͐̊͡ ̢̺̰̥̤͔̙͚̲̩̩͔̞͙͔̐͒̒ͩ̏̆ͫ̆̾ͩ͋̾̽͡͡ ̢̺̰̥̤͔̙͚̲̩̩͔̞͙͔̐͒̒ͩ̏̆ͫ̆̾ͩ͋̾̽͡͡ ̢̺̰̥̤͔̙͚̲̩̩͔̞͙͔̐͒̒ͩ̏̆ͫ̆̾ͩ͋̾̽͡͡ ̢̺̰̥̤͔̙͚̲̩̩͔̞͙͔̐͒̒ͩ̏̆ͫ̆̾ͩ͋̾̽͡͡ ̵̴̤̻̼̣̠͖ͮ̑̇̔͐̊͡ ̂͗ ̧ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ ̧ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ ̧ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ ̧ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ ̓ͩ͛͑̾͊ ̓ͩ͛͑̾͊ ̧ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ ̧ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ ̧ͣ͏̛̦̞̪͓̼̬̦͢͢ ̓ͩ͛͑̾͊ ̓ͩ͛͑̾͊ ͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ ͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ ͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ ͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ ̓ͩ͛͑̾͊ ͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ ͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ ͂ͬͯ̉͑̚̕͏̫͔̞͖͙͔̼̦̼̭̪̻̞͕̦̕ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̵̧͆̃̇ͫ̑҉̬̘̲͔̮͉̮ͅ ̷̸̯̗̪̯͍̥͕̠̣̹͈̯̪̫̉̓͜͠ͅ ̷̸̯̗̪̯͍̥͕̠̣̹͈̯̪̫̉̓͜͠ͅ ̷̸̯̗̪̯͍̥͕̠̣̹͈̯̪̫̉̓͜͠ͅ ̷̸̯̗̪̯͍̥͕̠̣̹͈̯̪̫̉̓͜͠ͅ ̷̸̯̗̪̯͍̥͕̠̣̹͈̯̪̫̉̓͜͠ͅ ͔̪̬͕̘ͤ͌̈ͬͪ̋ͨ̄ͧ̓̒ͥ̑̾͊͞ again ̷̴̡̢̰̫̟͉͍̯̘̳͓̰̼̯̝̠̍̋̈̿͗̑͛ͣ͝ want ͩ̐̍̈̓ͩ͊͛ͬ̇ͥ̋̚͜҉̺̪͇͍̝̮̼̘ want ̴̼̳̺̹̠̣͚ͮͣͬ̊̅͋͛͗͛͆͐̈̚, ̧͕̻̮̩̘̯̣̺̦͕͎̮̜̘ͬ̇͐͞͠ stupid ̴̪̯̗͕̥͎̼̖͙̠̙̪̆ͤ̊ͮ̒̏̏͊͘͜͢͝ egg ̵̧̢͎͓̙̳̫͚͚̦ͥ̉͌̄̓̊ͯͥ͜͞.̵͐ͮ͋ͬ̉͊͏͙͇̺̦ ̸̷̛͔̥̖͕̯̟̥̬̠̮̬̭͙̙̦̳̈̐̈͊̑̿͊ͩ̾ secret ̛ͣ͆̊͒̔̕ in ̜͕̭͎͙̓ͣ͛͟͠ I ̨ͥ͐̔̇̒͏̧͔͙̭͕ we ̢̋ͤ͆ͭͧͯ͊̐̍̄ͯͪ͟͏͈̙̫̠̹͙̺̙̪̘ made ̈ͨͯ̉̍̇̇͊̉ͪ҉͖̟͉͍̩̝̯̣̯ statement ̴̧̙̟̩̰͔͍̪͓͉̜̺͓̺̮̗̳ͥͭ͑̄ͧ̿̅̋̿̏̚, ̨̧̳̼͙͖̪͆̇̌̿͐̽̈̊̉ I ̡̈ͩ͆̓ͩ͊̅̽͗͆ͨ̒ͯ͐̆̉̚̕͏͇̻̰̖̪̙̗̰ with ̷̠̮̭̩̝̹̹̐ͣ̇̈͒ͯ͛̋ͨ͌͘͘͘͜ Department of ̡̹̦̥̘̞̝̣̣̳̯͖͙̑ͮ͗ͨ̅̌̈ͫͮ̓͠ I ̶̣̬͉͇̫͉̺̙̮͎̤ͨ͗ͫ͛ͮͤ̐ͤ͘̕ ̴̛̙̜̮̞̰ close ̽ͧ̐̓ͨͧ

 

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4 comments
321

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself

321
17 comments
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I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

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2 comments
3

I was an english major in college, and my school took fan fiction very seriously. most of the other english majors were socially-handicapped weebs who wrote harry potter fanfic and, aside from assigned readings, exclusively read children's books. Even the faculty, which mostly consisted of middle-aged women desperate to prove to students that they were still cool and fun, encouraged and participated in writing fan fiction. I still occasionally talk to one of the professors and she's working on turning some of her fan fiction into a novel. When I think about how much debt I'm in because of that fucking degree I want to kill myself. I'll probably be paying on my loans for another 20 years, and each monthly payment reminds me that I spent four years surrounded by people who identify by their hogwarts house and only enjoy fiction when it's fanfiction where the characters are gay.

3
2 comments
37

Okay hear me out- we’ve had this dog for 6 years and he always was very fond of my family, but he seemed particularly infatuated with my wife. He would jump on her and lick her face whenever he had the chance, and would always sleep as close to her as possible. I never thought anything of it, as many dogs have great passion for their owners, but recently some strange things have been happening. It started off with me noticing that my dog had lipstick stains around his mouth. Then I started to notice him playing with his genitalia whenever he saw my wife. Then things really got out of hand. I started to find my wife’s underwear lying around the house in odd places, and then I found a condom wrapper in his bed. I want to confront him, but I also love him and want to go easy on him. What should I do?

37
8 comments
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My girlfriend writes Shrek fan-fiction and now I'm rethinking my whole relationship with her. I'm not gonna lie, I don't understand the modern generation's sudden obsession in making Shrek a meme. I remember reading "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life" and from then on, it seemed like pop culture was nothing but Shrek. I enjoy the first two movies, but I'm baffled at the sudden newfound popularity. And now not only am I baffled by it, but now I'm disturbed by it because of my girlfriend writing actual fan-fiction stories about Shrek and his fucked up adventures.

It started last weekend when my girlfriend came to me and told me that she's looking into a possible career in writing and I thought that was great. I was even more surprised when she told me that she had already written something and she gave me a small little sheet of papers. The story she wrote was about Shrek being hired as Donkey's lawyer to help him gain custody of his children after a divorce with Dragon. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever read...until her next story a few days later. That one was about Prince Charming running a Trump-esque campaign to be the new ruler of Far Far Away. These stories were definitely weird, but still, they were harmless and looked to be in good fun. But then I read her story from yesterday and now I think my girlfriend is fucked in the head.

This story was about Shrek humping Fiona to death and enlisting Donkey and Puss in Boots to hide the body and cover up her murder while Gingy, Pinocchio and others suspect Shrek and try to bring him down. It was a very detailed, graphic, and violent story that ends with a whole bunch of the characters dying horribly and it was quite shocking that my girlfriend actually wrote that. And now I'm seriously reevaluating this whole relationship. I get that my girlfriend wants to write, but stuff like this? Is she serious? Would I be wrong to leave my girlfriend over this? Or am I just overreacting to harmless fan-fiction?

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❕ATTENTION⚠️9️⃣YR OLDS👶🏻, WE NEED UR HELP🗣! PEWDIEPIE🇸🇪 IS BEING HELD🗡CAPTIVE👁 BY ♿T-SERIES🆘️AND CAN ONLY BE RELEASED🗝 IF U SMASH 🔨THAT SUBSCRIBE 🅱️UTTON👍🏻AND👏🏻 TURN ON THE BELL🔔! TIME🕒 IS TICKING, LETS⏳⌛️ 🤜🏻BRO FIST T-SERIES🤛🏻 AND GET THE EPIC 🥇VICTORY ROYAL🚩🚩💰

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I once ate a pigeon and I must say, it was pretty delectable. I never thought a single day in my life that I would eat a flying rat but here I was, munching on this piece of meat. I swear I could feel the juicy blood seeping into me. I felt like Nikola fucking Tesla. I swear you need to try this tasty bloodbath of a bird.

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Crossposted by9 minutes ago

I despise him. If he all of a sudden disappeared I would not care at all. He has never liked me. Even when I would try when we were younger, he'd turn into some screaming, rampaging, dick. He is favorite from my parents because he's autistic. Maybe it's middle child syndrome, but between him and my sister, I feel left out. I really wanted a somewhat brotherly relationship but I guess not. He's 17 and my parents guide him through life. They're paying his drivers training, encouraging him to continue buying transformers (he's 17, been addicted since he was fucking 5), went so far as to give him my old room do he could have more space for transformers that he hoards.

I had to argue with him and my parents about how even though my computer was in my room, that doesn't mean he keeps it.

Anything he does outshines me. I get all A's and B's, he gets d's; and they congratulate him/take him out because he ISN'T FAILING. I get a pat on the back from my dad; who I feel is the only somewhat sane person. My connection with my mom is shit because she accuses me of saying she's a bad mom whenever I say she favorites my brother.

I know so much about him. He likes child porn, he tries to search up creepy bdsm kid shit on google. I know because the only time he fucking talks to me is when he wants me to fix his old WinXP computer or his cracked and crusty samsung. He doesn't use incog.

He's sitting next to me now, picking his nose while I type this.

I fucking hate him. I wouldn't wish death on him, but I wish we were better strangers.

Edit2: Told my parents. And my uncle. reporting soon

Edit3: Out of my hands now. Told someone

Another edit: Some of this was just jealousy. Jealousy of being second to my parents (or feeling so,) jealousy that he seems to be their first concern. I know that's childish and I need to grow up. I just came to vent.

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W-why hello there Ó•Ò’ sweats nervously I-uh was uh wondering UwU dabs sweat off face as much as possible i-if y-y-you w-were interested tries hard to conceal bulge i-in uh going o-on uh, freezes up for a while uh, a daaaa- stammers more while still trying to conceal 16 in fur-cock, now slight rubbing it a bit hoping you don’t notice um, I-if you um, w-were interested on g-closes eyes while moving glasses with nose to adjust ifyouwereinterestedingoingonadatewithme>w< starts blushing and faces away covering face revealing the 16 furcock I was covering um, y-you, do-don’t have to um, say y-...say yes, I was ju-just asking ÔwÔ says while now fur-roshushly rubbing 16 inch furcock I-if you say yes...I-I’ll treat you li-like a princess, a-and we could w-watch anime a-at my place….if you want _^ smiles shyly

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