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3.5k
Crossposted by26 days ago

absolutelynotme😭irl

29 comments
99% Upvoted
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level 1

yeah i dont have pets

level 2
Original Poster17 points · 25 days ago

Sucks, i want one but can’t afford it. I want the best life for my pet so i’ll wait till I'm good monetarily.

level 3

Then fuck and wait for them to come into the room and bother you

level 4
Original Poster8 points · 25 days ago

wow pointing out my incapability in copulation was not very cash money of you /s

level 1
65 points · 25 days ago

I don’t get it. If I was about to have wild nasty sex, wouldn’t my pet already be in the room?

level 2
23 points · 25 days ago

😏

level 2

This guy beastialities...

level 1
44 points · 26 days ago

Implying that you have sex

level 2
58 points · 26 days ago

Implying that you have sex

level 3
15 points · 25 days ago

oh shit

level 3

I do have sex, palmella is the best.

level 3

Implying that you have “sex”

level 1

Haha I can relate to this I also have a pet

level 2

I have a pet pickle fish that walks through doors

level 1

I don’t get it. Ops pets come inside when he’s gonna have sex?

level 2

As an expert in the arts of solo-sex let me explain.

The day is coming to an end, the sun has set, and the nightly urge falls upon you. You close your door and begin to make the necessary preparations. You grab the supplies you need and switch to your NSFW Reddit account or pull up one of your favorite porn sites then just before you begin you hear a noise. The damn dog whimpering because they want into your room. In that moment you know all your preparation was for nothing. You pull up your pants and let your dog into your room and find something else to do.

Sometimes they come in just before you begin preparation which somehow annoys me more.

level 3

Thank u so much for the info!

level 4

also thank mr skeltal for good bones and calcium^*

level 5

Thanks for the good bones and calcium, Mr. Skeltal

level 6

thank^*

level 4

Any time

level 1

my cat: good for you. I'm sure you'll have kittens one day if you keep trying.

level 1

They can smell it

level 1

Rev up those fryers, cuz I’m hungry for one-

level 1

Bold to assume I can afford a pet

I can't even afford myself

level 1

The cat likes to watch and the dog sits curled up looking confused. We've had to stop to take them out of the room

level 1

It's great fun when my pet comes out during intercourse.

Me: Awhh, look! It's Peanut, come to visit us!

Looks over and sees the royal python staring at her inches from her face

level 1

Jokes on you I live alone

level 1

Fucking doors, how do they work?

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